Call me a school supply junkie

I was reading this today and it got me thinking I may have a problem. You see, dear blogging peeps, I think I am addicted to school supply shopping. Oh you may scoff, and dismiss my problem. Let me supply supporting evidence of my said addiction ~pun intended. I literally get a little rush when I realize it's time for back-to-school-shopping. My heart races a bit when I see glue for 20 cents, a package of pencils for 25 cents, Crayons 5/$1.00!! It is love at first site. I count my pennies and see how many Crayons I can afford, how many packages of erasers our budget can bear. I get sick enjoyment out of leaving Target with three bags over flowing with school supplies. But, do I stop there? Oh no. I need to feed my addiction more, just like a true school supply shopping junkie that I am. I start pouring over the ads for the other box stores trying to find my fix in another location where I haven't been yet so I can score some more Bic pens and notebooks 10/$1.00.

This year my addiction is being fed by the fact I have two kids entering the public school system this fall. That means I need to buy twice as much! The joy/the sorrow, the stalking of that many more stores for the goods . I always try and buy a lot of the cheap stuff so that I can donate to the kids classroom for kids whose parents either don't have my affliction or the inclination to stock up on rulers when they are 10 cents apiece, Good God they are practically giving them away at that price! I am providing a public service. Thank Goodness these cheap school supplies are only available once a year for a short window of time, usually about a month, or I would drive us even further into the poor house.

This year my problem is being hindered by the lack of funds to feed my addiction. I have only been able to spend $10 so far on my habit and it is hurting me, causing me great pain. I am still pouring over the ads but I have no moola to back up my desire. I have wondered what I could pawn, sell, or trade for some school supplies. This is how broke we are.

Exhibit A. I actually had to put school clothes for my kids on layaway at, oh I can't say it, at K...mar.......tttttt. UGH, that hurt. And when I laid my money on the counter for my downpayment it was all in ones. The pain. The helpful *cough* employee and I had a little mental telepathy going on while he was ringing up my transaction.

K employee: As he eyeballs my selections stacked on the counter three feet high. Um, you are a loser, lady! Who buys their kids school clothes at Kmart? On layaway no less.

Me: SHUT UP stupid Kmart guy. I know it's pathetic, but I at least want my kids to have something new to wear to school....

KE: Yeah, whatever lady. It looks like you did a good job of picking out stuff that doesn't look toooo cheap.

Me: SHUT UP. UMMM, I mean thanks. Yeah. This Basic Editions t-shirt that was probably made by a 3-year-old in a sweat shop looks pretty good.

KE: You are paying for your downpayment with ones??!?!?! Don't you have a checking account? Are you a striper or something? Geez, LOSER.

Me: SHUT UP. And yeah, I am a stripper. At a fetish bar for guys who are chubby chasers. That's why I am buying my kids school clothes on layaway at KMart.

KE: {Out loud this time} Thanks for shopping at KMart today. Here's your receipt. Be sure you make another payment (in something besides ones) by the 28th.

Me: SHUT UP. STOP JUDGING ME STUPID KMART GUY. ERRRR, I mean thanks...and I slink away hanging my head in shame. It was only after I walked away that I wondered if could have put some of those cheaper than dirt school supplies on layaway too????!?!?!

No Whining here, baby!

So, yeah, Connor is fine. He is "perfectly normal" as his pediatrician put it. YIPPEE!!!! He does have vitiligo but no other health concerns at this time. What happy news. Thank you all, my blogging peeps, for putting up with my malodorous mood, my whining, and my general funkeness. These are traits of yesteryear and now I will be joyous yet again. Well, as joyous as I get. Thanks too for all your well wishes and expressions of support. It means so much to me. More than you will know.

I am almost done with training! This too is cause for great joy. I am sick and tired of being stuck in training learning about insurance, who knew there was so much to insurance?!?!?!, with eleven other people, half of whom are seriously getting on my last nerve. We get to move onto the floor next Friday. Well, ten of us do. Two of us don't have desks or a spot yet in the OJT area. One being yours truly. HOWEVER, in light of my new motto of being joyous I will not complain, oh no I will not, don't tempt me, get behind me Satan, I will not BITCH, I won't do it. I get paid the same either way, whether I have a desk for the first few days of OJT or not. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

I seen Creepo Guy today. Gawd, that guy seriously gives me the hebbie jeebies. He isn't fired yet, obviously, which slightly brings down my mojo, my vibe, my feelings of elation, but not much. I just keep hoping I will never ever see him again. You'd think by working in a office with 300 other people I wouldn't see him very often, but you'd be surprised. Creepy people are like that, I think they must clone themselves so you see them 5666788 gizzilion more times than you wish you would. Goodness. If he was drop dead beautiful with a charming personality I would probably NEVER see him, 'cuz well this is how it goes. I think he may or may not be my stalker, if I ever spot him in the woman's room or at Target, I'll know for sure and keep you posted.

HMMM...crazy druggie sister news, you ask, perched on the edge of your seat in hope and anticipication? WHY YES, dear reader, I do have crazy druggie sister news. It seems as though my niece has moved in with her boyfriend's family about one half of the time. My sister called me the other day to complain about it and then proceeded to get high while she was on the phone with me. I kept hearing her lighter clicking on and off and put two and two together. I hung up on her. The reason for her call, you ask? Good question, dear reader, Gawd you're smart. She was calling me trying to get a hold of my Mom. You see, she seems to think I know where our mother is 100% of the time and can give her coordinates on a map as to where to reach said mother at any point in the day. I have told her time and time again I have no such technology, but being the crazy druggie sister that she is she doesn't believe me and I don't think remembers that we ever had this coversation previously. She wants my Mom to come to LA and stay with her ex-husband in her old apartment and make her ex be nice to her and let her have visitation with her kids and make K stop spending so much time with Boyfriend. I said, "Alright, it's official, you really are smoking crack if you think Mom is going to go for that". She couldn't understand why I thought it was such a crazy idea and why Mom wouldn't jump on the chance to go down there. Mom won't even pick up the frickin phone with T calls, I really don't think she's going to be making an SOS trip clear to LA for her. Good Lord. T is a certifiable idiot, whether she's high or not. I really don't think crazy druggie sister will be out of jail long. She got convicted on that meth charge and is supposed to be attending drug and alcohol meetings and going to anger management and other court BS, in lieu of any real punishment of course. She is supposed to be randomly drug tested, I'm sure the probation department is waiting outside her door now with a urine cup in hand to perform the test. Yeah, sure they are. However, since she was literally getting high while she was on the phone with me I can't imagine she's sober much of the time, eventually she'll get caught, I just know it. I have no clue what's up with K or how she is. She called me the other day too, but mostly we just chit chatted about her hair and other girlie stuff. I really don't want to know what's going on, cuz that's a real buzz kill, so I don't ask....I am trying out the cool Aunt routine now. SHUT UP! I can to be a cool Aunt. Geez....

My sister that lives here, S, she's 10 years younger than me and is a major pain in my ass. I know, I'm not supposed to be complaining, but this really isn't a complaint as much as stating fact. This girl is a true pain the the ass, no really, she is. She's mad at me AGAIN, she's always pissed at me for something. This time it's because I said that I didn't think there was much to do for K until she wants to help herself. S got all sulky and slammed the door and left when I said that. I'm not exactly sure what she wants ME to do about it, I called S, of course she didn't pick up the phone, and asked her just what she thinks I should do or whom I should call. Because she's real mature like that she called me right back and told me who I should call, NOT. She is just sulking that I don't love K like her and that I am doing nothing for the situation. Mind you, S is perfectly capable of dialing the phone as much as I am, but for some reason it's MY job. And I don't even want K back here. MAJOR sigh. Lawd, 9 days out of 10 I seriously wish I was a only child!

S is having her gallbladder out next Tuesday and I can already sense the drama coming with that one. I can already tell you that she will be in the most pain of anybody who has ever had their gallbladder removed, especially yours truly, and will be such a big baby about the whole bloody ordeal that I will be forced, shoved really, to bite my own hand in order to prevent myself from smacking her right between the eyes. Yes,the love between us is almost palatable, I know you can feel it right now.

And that note I will close. My Advil PM has indeed kicked in and I am now seeing double. Peace out my blogging peeps. Thanks for everything! !

Please pardon my funk!

Alright, so I am in a funk. I want to make that abundantly cleare at the beginning and at the start of this post. Proceed with caution, you may want to wear protective head gear and an asbestos suit, I’m just saying.

Connor indeed DOES have vitiligo. There is no known cure or cause. It could get a lot worse than it is already or it could stay status quo. It’s just a wait and see kind of deal. He already has a big patch of white below his lip. That’s my biggest fear; I don’t want his little face to be affected. He’s seriously cute. I know that sounds really shallow and unpolitically correct, but I don’t want his cuteness affected in anyway. Everywhere we go people always comment on his cuteness. Does it make me superficial that I want him to stay cute and for nothing to mar that cuteness? Probably. Do I want to apologize for that? No, not really. I’m telling you people, I am in a FUNK. I know there are a lot worse conditions than vitiligo, like skin cancer. I know that. And the fact that he’s already pale like mayonnaise is in our favor because the white patches aren’t as noticeable. It still pisses me off though. Why can’t we just be normal? WHY? Both of my boys are also somewhere on the high functioning autism scale and that’s a whole other drama. And now we get to add this to our repertoire of things that make us different. One more thing I have to explain about, one more thing I need to read about, one more thing I need to worry about. I am exhausted. I just want us to be normal. Before the vitiligo I was at least secure in the knowledge that even if Connor was flapping like a mad man or totally obsessed with the pattern on the wallpaper at least he LOOKED normal. Well, no more. . . And this is really, really bothering me. And it seems totally unfair and it pisses me off. Not to mention the fact that this is one more thing that Connor will have to deal with for the rest of his life. You are welcome son, autism and vitiligo are both genetic, yeah my genes suck big time, sorry about that. Hmm, maybe the whininess and drama queenness runs in the family, you think?

We have to get back to his Pediatrician, I have a call into him, for him to order blood tests to see if there is anything sinister behind the vitiligo. People can have vitiligo without having an autoimmune disease, which is good news, but it isn’t always the case. As I have expressed on this blog before, Connor is a serious drama queen. He lies on the floor sometimes and cries that he can’t move because, “his legs are breaking”, or his neck hurts. What if he has had a disease this whole time and has been having body aches and that’s where SOME of the whining stems from? Oh the guilt. I have yelled at him, swatted his bottom, and made threats if he didn’t get up and move NOW. Now the possibility of learning that maybe he has fibromiliga or something of that caliber and his joint really do ache makes my Mommy guilt scream and cuss and throw a fit. I was telling my friend Candace about my fears and she said, “Don’t worry. Maybe the blood tests will come back and confirm he’s just an overly dramatic little brat.” I said, “Gawd, I hope so”. Then we laughed, who wants their kid to be a spoiled brat? I do, if it’s between that and some kind of autoimmune disease. So, now we just WAIT. And wait. Meanwhile, I am buying stock in Coopertone as we will have to douse him in sun block for the rest of his live long days.

BTW, thank you to Anonymous on my last post. Your comment really did make me feel better. It is refreshing to read about someone who has vitiligo and isn’t in the circus because they look so freaky. You sound like a very well adjusted young lady. Thank you for taking the time to comment, really.

I have news about my sister and the drama down South. It’s a mess. It’s nothing any more dramatic than what’s already been going on. They went to court for T’s battery charge against her ex-husband, her son stood up and told the court all about everything that has been going on in house since the day he can remember, the judge dropped most of the charges against T and ordered her ex back in court the next day, as most of the charges that M leveled were against his Father. We have no idea what happened in court on Friday. T called my Mom on Thursday night and asked is she would foster care all three of the kids if they were taken away from T & G both. T also still needs to go to court for the meth charges she has against her. And no, I haven’t talked to her for about three weeks or more now.

Oh yes, and her other son J is having some serious emotional issues. Surprised, I know so was I? The other day T thought she heard J crying, but it was an odd sound, not like normal crying and she said, “J, are you crying?” J replied, “Oh, that’s not me Mom. It’s George”. Well, they have no George’s who live in that house. I think he must have another personality or something. Lovely. My Mom said, “T, what do you think that means? Do you think maybe you should get him help?” T’s response, the ever nurturing mother, was, “Oh Mom, I know what it means, it means all three of my kids are screwed up and I don’t want to deal with it”. My Mom replied, “Yeah, T I was quite certain that was how you would react”.

All I know for sure about that situation is this. And I know it sounds very cold and cruel of me. I can not take those kids on. If they were babies I would. But at this point all three of them are so screwed up emotionally they are going to need massive amounts of professional help. And I don’t want any of them around my kids. We have enough going on. I know, I know, it sounds awful. I feel like such a bitch for even uttering the words out loud, but it’s the truth. I think J is going to be a serial killer or something. No, I am serious. That kid is seriously messed up and soooooo angry, so angry he’s like a ticking time bomb. When they come up here last summer for a visit, when K still lived with me, he scared Chad and I both. He has this coldness to him that is truly eerie, its bone chilling really. The really sad part about that whole situation is that T left J with us for 4 months when I was pregnant with Trent. He was such a happy baby then. I offered to adopt him and she said No! of course. That’s her son; she would never ever give up custody of any of her kids. I was telling J when they were here visiting what a sweet little baby he was and how I wished I could have kept him forever. He looked at me like he wanted to gut me like a fish. Not kidding. Just cold and mean and so very angry, it was scary. *SIGH* Everything about T and her life and her kids life is infuriating, sad, a colossal waste of potential, and so unfair it makes me want to weep, rage, and scream.

I hope that all the kids get taken away from T & G both and that they are put into intense therapy ASAP. That may save them. All three of those kids are seriously messed up. It’s very sad.

Well, now that I have managed to be a major downer for the whole internet I will close. Thanks for listening to me bitch. Please don’t tell me it could be worse, I am not in the mood to hear that, at all. I am miserable, depressed, and angry right now. I KNOW it could be worse. But it feels pretty bad today and that’s all I know for sure.

A hateful meme

10 Things I HATE meme. . . (thanks Mommy of the Record!)

1. Target. Now, before you get all up in arms, let me explain. I normally LOVE Target. But, when I went there last week looking for sandals for the boys I was spewing hatred for my beloved Target. Why you ask? Well, let me tell ya' why. Do you know they had 87 aisles of shoes for little girls? And only a ½ aisle of shoes for boys, with about 3 pairs of summer shoes, including flip flops. Not kidding. GRRRR. That really steams me up, man. Does Target not realize that little boys get hot feet too?

2. Cancer. I just found that a really good family friend has cancer. Why hasn’t this awful disease been cured yet, huh? HUH? WHY?

3. Discrimination. I really hate it when people assume they know you based solely on your appearance. Be it your skin color, your race, your religion, or your weight. I am a BIG girl. It really steams me up when people assume I eat all day every day just because I am big. I actually eat as much or less than “normally” sized people. My body just doesn’t know it’s supposed to BURN the calories instead of saving them for a rainy day. *sigh* I also hate it when people assume that since I am big I don’t care about my appearance or that I don’t like cute clothes, shoes, what have you. What’s up with THAT?!?! Or that because I’m fat I have suddenly been rendered incompetent and am now stupid, and need to be told I should diet. My favorite is, “Have you ever thought about dieting?” GAWD, no, I have NEVER heard of that, could you please explain the concept to me? This extra layer of fat around my middle has made my common sense completely disabled. Thank you so much, you are my savior now, I had no idea that I could actually diet and lose weight! THANKS!!!!! Jerk. Yes, I have dieted, I exercise, I drink slim fast, I take those special vitamins that are supposed to speed up your metabolism, I have taken diet pills, I have went to a dietician for a year at a time, and I don’t hate half of what I would LOVE to eat, NOTHING works. But, thanks for your concern anyway. Idiot.

4. I hate foul language. I know. This makes me incredibly square and probably unpopular as well. I really hate the “F” word. I think there is so many better, more articulate ways to express yourself than using the F bomb. And isn’t it incredibly overused? I mean, come on, when it’s peppered into EVERY single sentence doesn’t it kind of lose its zing? I really hate it when I hear people cussing at college. COME ON people, we’re at an institute of higher learning. You aren’t creative enough to think up a more descriptive adjective?!?!? Use your imagination and come up with a better way to express yourself. **please note, I am not judging anyone for using foul language on their own blogs. It’s your blog. Swear up a storm. I’m just sayin’…. **

5. Bad manners. As in not saying “thank you” for a simple gesture. If I send you a package in the mail or give you a present, a simple thank you would be awesome. A thank you note would be even BETTER. But, that’s just me.

6. Bad movies. If I am going to spend 2 hours watching a movie it better be good.

7. Commercializing of everything. Does every single occasion have to be marked with gift giving and excess? Good Lord. It’s ridiculous. I don’t even celebrate Holidays and it still annoys me.

8. Kids TV commercials. We don’t have cable TV mostly because I hate for my kids to watch Nickelodeon or Disney and see all those TV commercials aimed at kids. They get the “I gotta have its” in a BAD way. And it’s just not good for any kid to have so much crap. And believe you me when I say that my kids have a TON of crap already. They don’t need one thing more--possibly in their lifetime, I am not sure about that. I’ll get back to you on that one.

9. Violence. I really hate violence in any forms. On TV, in the movies, in real life, and I think it’s sad how violence is exploited and sometimes glorified in our every day life. It starts to lose its shock value, which I think is a very dangerous trend.

10. Bad parents. Now, I am not saying that I will be nominated as Mother of the Year for 2006. However, I hate parents who are so selfish that they won’t stop what they are doing and ask themselves how it is affecting their children. That they brought into this world. I mean, come on. You can’t look at your kids and decide to stop drinking, or doing drugs, or whatever your destructive vice is, maybe even bad relationships, for the good of your children? I sure do wish we could legally force stupid people who do drugs, or drink, or abuse their children to be, I don’t know, sterilized maybe? Okay, maybe that’s severe. I don’t know. It sure doesn’t seem like our current system is working very well is all I’m saying.

Okay, this list was supposed to be 15 or 20 items long, depending on whose blog you look at. But, I have gotten myself all steamed up now so I will stop at 10. Unless I think of more garbage I wanna get off my chest, then I’ll amend my list!

I tag whoever wants to be tagged. I don’t know…talk amongst yourselves and decide who needs tagged! You’re IT, GOOOOOO…..run……!!!

Issues, so very many issues

Issue 1. A few of you expressed concern after my last post that I was considering taking K back in. Not to worry. Chad and I have came to a firm decision on this one. We will NOT allow K. To come back into our home to live. It caused a plethora of problems last time and we are just not ready to do that drama again. My Mom and S even agree with us and that folks is a TRUE blue miracle.

Issue 2a. I have not talked to T for a few weeks now. I told my Mom about somebody's, can't remember who's, BRILLIANT idea to send T a letter and have her sign and notarize it saying she was responsible for the debt. Mom agreed it was a BRILLIANT idea but said I would NEVER succeed in getting T to follow through and actually do it. *sigh* However.....

Issue 2b. Chad and are in the midst of going through a debt help place. You know, one of those places that helps you to negoite for lower interest rates with your creditors and sets up a repayment plan with the creditors to stop all the late fees, late fees on the late fees, overlimit fees, overlimit fees on the overlimit fees, and ect....Chad attempted to add the braces people to that plan and the braces debt is not even on my credit report. As in there is no listing that I even owe those people money. SOOOO, now I wonder if that mean souless devil creditor man was just lying to me {shocking thought, i know. Try and pick yourself up off the floor with that one folks...}. Maybe the debt really is in T's name? Doesn't it seem like if it was in my name it would show up on my credit report? What would YOU do? I can't remember on the contract if I was required to put in my social or not. And of course one day in a paperwork frenzy I shredded up that contract thinking it was all taken care of. Dumb, I know, VERY dumb. i have made so many istakes on this whole deal I can't even remember them all. *SIGH* I should not be allowed to deal with money or contracts or anything EVER again.

Issue 3a. Connor has these weird white patches of skin on his elbows, knees, top of his feet, and hands. My Mom took him to his pediatrician Thursday and Dr L said he thinks Connor may have vitiligo, isn't that what Michael Jackson said he had and had to bleach his skin as a result?? GREAT. Dr L also referred to him a dermatologist. We go to see that new Doc Thursday. Dr L warned us the new Doc will probably want to do a biopsy of the wierdo rash to figure what is is. Can't wait for that with Mr. Drama Connor himself. I did some research on vitiligo and promptly freaked myself out. Therefore, I decided it's in the best interests of my emotional health and blood pressure to not do any more research until we find out for sure what this weird skin condition is. Basically vitiligo is a genetic condition (GUILT, so much guilt) and is sometimes the result of a more serious DISEASE. *GULP* And I am having skin issues of my own....

Issue 3b. Albeit they are much less potentially serious than Connor's skin irriations. I have been using the new Vaseline Healthy glow lotion. It has a "touch" of sunless tanner included in the regular Vaseline lotion. Holy Stinking cow, they weren't a kiddin'. I have a VERY healthy looking tan indeed, in only two days. The stuff works awesome, you can get it at your local friendly Target store. Because you are my friend, I will give you this bit of advice. Be sure to put some of the lotion on your feet if you choose to use it. I was staring at my calves Friday at work {I was wearing capris}, because I don't know why, I think I was bored out of my mind, and noticed how TANNED my-big-as-tree-trunks-calves-looked. Holy Moly, I thought, that stuff works FAST. Then I glanced at my feet, admiring my cute sandals, and also noticing I need a pedicure, again DAMN IT. My feet were as white as the day i was born. I looked like I had nylons on that ended at my chubby ankles. Not a cute look in case you were wondering! Yesterday after I showered I was sure to put the lotion on my feet, they are looking a little bit better, but now a little streaky. *****GRRRRRRRR***** Good Lord, I am just not sure if I want a healthy glow anymore. Does everybody else have these problems or is just me?

Oh, and this really isn't a issue, but Connor finally lost that tooth that gave us so much grief a month or so ago. Hallelujah!!! He looks cute and like such a big boy now. My Grandma gave him a green dollar and that made all the pain and turmoil worth it for him. :) The kid LOVES green dollars, but then who doesn't?