Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The scourge of 2006

Boo~hiss. This is how I feel today. Please bear with me. First of all, it's Halloween. I loathe Halloween for all the obvious reasons.

Second, remember the flu my children have had? Who can forget? I haven't stopped yammering on about it for 3 posts now. Yes, being the generous beings that they are they have infected their own and only Mother. I have been sick so very sick since Friday. I even threw up in my car on the way home from work. EWWWW. Yes, you're welcome for the mental picture. I do believe the children may or may not be trying to kill me off. Maybe the little monsters have a bright shiny skinny new wife picked out for their Dad? WELL, I have a few little things I would like to tell that poor unsuspecting bimbo. She should refer to just about any post in the blog to give herself a good and accurate picture of what she's getting herself into. Yes, all 3 of them, the boys and Chad, are cute. BUT, GOOD LAWD...... No, smartass, wild paranoia is not one of the symptoms of this flu, I'm like this all the time. I like to think it adds to my aura of sparkling wit and charming personality.

I have not been this sick in years. This epidemic will forever be referred to as "The scourge of '06". {In order to get the full effect you must use a deep and dramatic TV voiceover tone.} I have had all kinds of bodily fluids emitting from my orifices. And I started my period. I am one happy camper, let me tell you. EWWWWWW.

Add to this whole lovely visual the fact my house is so filthy I could host a haunted house party while doing zero prep work. Cobwebs? Check. Scary looking zombie creatures wandering around in filthy dirty clothes from the early 90's, moaning, clutching their stomach and looking like they may hurl? Check. Dirty dishes with odd substances on them that could be yucky things like eyeballs or some other grossness? Check, check and double check. Scary articles falling from closets with no provocation. Yep, got that too. Add a frightened, spooked little beagle and you have yourself a complete pictorial of our lovely home. Enticing vision, isn't it?

Oh, and I forgot to mention that Chad had to rebuild our front porch this weekend because the rain is coming. Doesn't that make it sound like we live in the rain forest? I guess we kind of do, when the rain starts it rains with a vegenance, let me tell ya. And so the throbbing in my head was matched by the pounding of the hammer. And, my 8-year-old little sweet son hit puberty over the weekend and decided he hated me. He put a huge blob of caulking from the door in my hair ON PURPOSE and then ran like a bat out of hell when I started screaming like a little girl "somethingisinmyhairdamnit, getitout, GETTTTTITTTTTTTTOUTTTTTTTTT". 8 shampoos and no hot water later I emgerred a pissed off pruned up Mommy with straw for hair. Trent is grounded until he's 25 in case you are wondering. Gosh, if Trent would have thinking he should have recorded my screaming for the whole haunted house motif theme we got going on here.

Bah Humbug.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Do not be fooled by this face!


Do NOT, I repeat do NOT trust this child should you lay your eyes on him. Do not be taken in by his sweet smile and shy demeanor. It is a trick, a ploy, a way to draw you into his devilish little web. He was the most horribly acting child on Monday when he was with my Mom. Absolute holy terror. He was being such a monster my Mom actually took him to Chad's work to have Chad try and talk some sense into him. He had no remorse whatsoever. Chad's threatening his young life barely made him behave like a somewhat domesticated 5-year-old. I think once I picked the kids up, my Mom went home and drank a gallon of wine and wondered how in the hell she got roped in to taking care of my kids while I work? Needless to say, he is grounded off the computer for the rest of his life.

So, guess who started throwing up at school on Tuesday? That's right, the Devil man himself, Connor Issac. He was getting the flu that Trent had I guess. {I know it wasn't the flu shot, 'cuz Connor hasn't even had his flu shot yet. He was suppose to get it today, but since he was puking I thought we'll put it off a few weeks. And Candace's kids have had the exact same symptoms and they haven't had their flu shots either. } *sigh* Why do kids act like such monster's when they are getting sick? Does anybody know? Is there a scientific explanation for it? OY!

Thanks for all your well wishes for Trent. He is 100% back to normal. He hasn't hurled since Friday. My Mom thought maybe he wasn't getting enough calories, so we bought some SlimFast in the cans, my kids LOVE SlimFast I know they're odd. He literally drank 5 on Saturday and perked right up. He must have had the worst case of the flu. His appetite is back in full force and he's his very energetic, never shuts up, little self. Thank goodness! I wouldn't have it any other way.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Calling all Mothers


I need some advise from mamma's (or Daddies). Please. Trent is sick. He's been sick for over a week now. I don't know if I should be freaking out or not. He was sick a few weeks ago with a nasty ear infection. I took him to his pediatrician and he got some ear drops and his ear is doing better. Poor Trent has had ear infections his whole life. I took him back to the doctor on October 11 for his 8-year well child check. {yes, he turned 8 in March, I'm a little behind. What can I say? Yeah, I know I won't be getting my Mother-of-the-year-award this year. Damn, and I was this close to getting it too! } His ear was looking better and he got his chicken pox booster and the flu mist vaccine. Oh yeah, and he was slightly anemic as well when they checked his hemoglobin. Not even anemic really, just on low side of the iron scale. Everything was good. Chad & I went away for our anniversary, all was fine, we had fun, the kids had fun everything was good. Then on this last Monday the school called me because Trent was throwing up. He threw up all Monday. He stopped throwing up. He stayed home from school on Tuesday. On Wed I stayed home with him and he threw up again. Thursday he was fine, my Mom stayed with him and was driving her crazy. In her words, "he was quite obnoxious". In my mind an obnoxious kid is a well kid. So, he went to school yesterday. He went to the after school program with my Mom, she is one of the staff there, and was fine. She said he looked a little pale by the end of the day. We went out to dinner last night, he wanted some shrimp, and he was REALLY tired, almost falling asleep at dinner. We came home and he went straight to bed. I awoke this morning at 3Am to the sound of him puking his guts out.

So, I am at war with myself. Chad thinks he's fine and just over did it yesterday. I don't know if he has e-coli or something horrible. Isn't a week a long time to have the flu for a normally active kid? He said that yesterday at school his knees were shaking from walking from his classroom to the playground. This is a kid who is normally at a dead run. How do I know if he's just got a really bad case of the flu, which I find ironic since he got the flu mist, or something horrible? Somebody give me some advise, please. I do NOT want to be one of those freaking out about every little sniffle kind of Mom's. However, I don't want to let my child die from e-coli because I am too stupid to know he needs to go to the Doctor. *sigh* He has NOT had a fever. Just diarrhea, vomiting, and extreme lethargy. Help me please, don't let me down now my blogging peeps.

And, I have another problem that I need advice with, but it's not pressing so I'll blog about that later. Later blogging peeps~~peace out.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Inquiring minds want to know




To appease the masses, okay one of you, who are asking me about the autism conference with Candace...it was GREAT. We were only gone one night but it was fantabulaous. The conference was very informative and had a lot of good tips for parenting in general. I haven't talked about it much on my blog, but both my boys have Aspberger's Syndrome, which is VERY high functioning form of autism. They are both in mainstream classes at school and are doing wonderfully. However, we have some behavior type issues at home so I was very anxious to attend the conference. It was well worth sitting in class for all of Saturday. I really did learn a lot.

And, we got to stay in very nice hotel. The one mild irritant? We had to share. Yeah, with a total stranger, a pot-smoking-hippe-four felon holding-ex con, Spring Rain, or whatever her name was. A little explanation? Yes, I would imagine that would be in order. Candace works for her county's children services program. They paid for her to attend the conference and for her room. I was allowed to stay in the room with her, and, no I'm not the ex felon silly. But we also had to share with another young lady, that would be your felon, from a different county's program . To say she was interesting is an understatement. She told us the abridged version of her life within five minutes of meeting her. I mostly kept just saying, "oh my, wow, hmmmm, that's sooommmeeethiinnngg..." Candace blamed me, she said that I have one of those faces that begs for people to tell me their war stories. HMPH. I was offended until I realized she was right. Everybody and their uncle twice removed wants to tell me their life story. *sigh* It's a burden I must bare I suppose.

Anyhoo, I ALMOST slept with my wallet under my pillow at the hotel until I remembered that I didn't have any money and her credit is probably better than my own. Last week I couldn't find my driver's license and thought Meadow Lark ,or whatever in the hell her name was, had stolen it. And then 2 seconds later I found the stray driver's license in my change purse and realized I may have gotten overexcited, just a tad. And, NO, I am not known for being overexcited, thankyouverymuch.

Did I mention we went out to eat at grown up eatiries with no placemats or crayons, sans kids and husbands, and I got to drink a few little cocktails? Yummy. It was grand. I may or may not have been a wee bit hung over on Saturday and Sunday morning both. *ahem* But, you did NOT hear that from me. And NO the county did NOT pay for my cocktails. The cheapskates. If anybody needs cocktails it would be a parent of 2 wild and crazy boys. :) Actually, I was very happy and grateful that they allowed me to bunk with Candace and smokes-a-lot-Suzy.

Since Candace lives in the town of tumbleweeds and cows we also went shopping while we, well mostly her 'cuz I already live where you can buy clothes that are not made from gunny sacks, were in civilization. Our shopping time constituted me following Candace around and making smart ass comments about the clothes she tried on. That is just the kind of friend I am people! It was mucho granda fun. I bought myself an old lady nightgown and was happy as can be. It doesn't take much to make me happy, that's for sure. Candace did end up getting some really cute new duds. She'll be the talk of the town I am sure, all 25 of 'em. (hehehehe, luv ya, Candace!)

Chad took the boys and Candace's son, B, to the monster truck races while we were gone. Yes, I missed the monster track rally, I can barely contain my grief. All had a great time. Candace's husband and daughter, A, also stayed here with Chad and the boys and they had fun too I hear. It was a great weekend!

To the throngs of my blogging peeps who want to know if we ever went camping, okay the one person who asked, no we did not. However, Chad did get all the camping gear out of hawk. So, we have everything we need. Maybe early this spring we can go camping, we are hoping. We are going to go up and stay with Candace & family over Thanksgiving however. We are really looking forward to that! We will not camp up there, unless it's on her living room floor, because we would freeze our tookas's off.

Chad and I are going away this weekend for our 15th wedding anniversary. We are flat broke but are going to go anyway. I plan on drinking heavily and acting quite irresponsibly. Alert the media.

And with that I am off to bed. 5:30 AM comes VERY very very early.