How domestic am I?

I was recently asked via a chain-mail-e-mail invite to share my favorite recipe with 2 people. If I failed to comply I was promised that all my future meals would taste well, like crap. Since I do not want to piss off the Betty Crocker of the Internet, I have decided not to risk my future of domestic Goddessnes to do one better and share my favorite all time recipe with my favorite 5 loyal readers of Jodi's World. How lucky are all of you? Now, get a pen and some paper so you can write down this delicious and satisfying family favorite. Go ahead, I'll wait.~~~Jeopardy music playing as I wait patiently for you, my dear blogging friend, to find your dusty recipe cards and a leak proof pen....da dah daah do do da!~~ Ready? Good, here we go....

How to order pizza
1. Get out the phone book
2. Look for coupons in the back of phone book for special deals
3. Call up your local pizza joint
4. Ask them for their specials for the evening
5. Decide if any of them sound good or you want your old stand by? This is a MAJOR factor in your success and very important to take your time when making this crucial decision. Shall you order the wrong pizza your recipe will turn out like, well, crap.
6. Order pizza, don't forget to always include with bread sticks and cheese too, and a 2 liter bottle of soda for the kiddo(s)
7. If you're lucky they will deliver and you can blog while you are waiting for the 45 minutes for them to show up.
8. Pizza arrives, open door, pay the man.
9. Call to kiddo(s) that dinner is done, wipe the sweat from your brow, then sit down to eat, on paper plates because then you won't need to do dishes, and give thanks for all pizza delivery drivers everywhere.
10. ENJOY! Don't worry this recipe is very special in that this pizza will be calorie free and your body will treat it like grapefruit as it is digested! However, you must follow the steps I have outlined for you to the LETTER or tomorrow you will get up feeling bloated and won't be able to zip your favorite jeans. We all know we don't want THAT to happen, Good Lawd, can you imagine? Don't tempt fate my friend, follow my exact directions in this recipe.

And that, my dear(s), is my favorite recipe.

Say what?

"Mom...."
"Yes, baby...."I said nervously, wondering again why he was watching the Grammy's with me. This should be rated TV-14.
"That lady, what's her name?, must be very aflacetic".
"Honey, her name is Shakira, and do you mean athletic?"
"No, Mooooommmmmm~insert eye roll and annoyance here~I mean AFLACETIC, you know like the Aflac duck? Because if Shakira keeps shaking around like that she's gonna hurt herself just the Aflac duck keeps talking about.....Geez, look at her GO!"
Me, not even attempting to hide my laughter, "You're right, if she keeps shaking like that, she is going to hurt herself!"







"Mom"....


"Yes, Trent", I said as I observed my son with his tongue hanging out watching dear Christina writhing all over the stage.


"She must use a LOT of bleach to get her outfit and her hair sooooo white".


Me, stifling a giggle, "Yes, Trent you're right, she must use a LOT of bleach!". Thank Goodness he didn't ask me one of the other hundred questions I had screaming through my mind, such as how can such a tiny person support such big boobs that stay in one place as she is rolling around on the ground?



Yes, watching the Grammy's with my almost 9-year-old son is an adventure, he makes me laugh. His perspective is so cute and innocent, I love it!

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And on to other news:
Chad's surgery is tomorrow. I will try and post very soon to let you all know how it went and how brave ~~cough, cough, pathetic~~he's being. When he went to the doc today, they signed his disability until May 15! I am very excited he's going to be a house husband for a while. Maybe he should start a blog and detail his adventures for the Internet. Now, that, dear Internet would be hilarious.

My niece, K, is here. VS is driving me batty, yeah, I know like that's news. Stay tuned for more on that, i am SURE. My Mom has temporary guardianship for 60 days. T is supposed to be going back into the hospital, I hope she really is there. My Mom seen her when they went back down to go to court. Mom said T looks sooooooo bad, she is sickly skinny and just sits and mumbles to herself a lot. It's very sad. T called me the other day and asked for my address because she would like to write me letters. It was one of her very sweet personalities and it was enough to move me to tears.

My Dad is layed off work for the winter, so he's transforming my third bedroom into a laundry room! I am so excited. It will be a huge improvement. And the biggest advantage, I will no longer have a empty bedroom for wayward relatives of mine to lay claim too. Hallelujah! And, that is something to rejoice about.