It's a'right

Please bear with me dear one. I have a few important matters I need to update you on. Therefore, this post may be kinda longish. Feel free to just skim if you wish.

Who is that attractive young lady you are staring at, wondering if she's missing teeth or what? Well, its crazy druggie sister. She is not looking good, at all. She looks horrible. This picture is about a month old. I have another picture of her, that I can't find, where you can really see the wrinkles around her eyes, she looks soooooo bad. She used to be such a pretty girl. And she's in jail. She's been calling me collect. Every day. Complaining about awful it is in jail. I in turn keep reminding her that is the purpose of jail, they don't want you to come back. I also told her that she needs to stop smoking crack and then she won't have to go back to the poky. "I was NOT doing crack, I was doing METH!", she says as if I had insulated her by insinuating that she was doing a white trailer trash drug and not something classy like METH. Good Lawd. It makes me sooo proud I tell you. She'll be on Cops you just wait and see.

It is of the utmost importance that I reveal to you that indeed I did NOT get the job I interviewed for, the job I wanted so bad working in the court that it made my teeth hurt. That job. You know what though? It's okay. I had a whole week to get myself used to the idea, I knew the second I walked out of that interview that I had blown it. Badly. And that I wouldn't be getting the job. *sigh* I have applied for 2 more jobs and am just waiting for word back if the would like me to interview or not. I am okay with the whole thing. I really am. It's sad, and I know I would have kicked ass at that job, if I had just done well at the interview. And I did my best. What else can you do? And at least I have a job now that I do well at, so I know that I am employable, I just need to find the right employer I suppose.

As a result of this most unfortunate news we have reverted back to plan B. That plan being the one where Chad just commutes for the time being and we will move if and when I get a job. The boys and I will just stay here, I will stay at my current job, and keep applying for anything that looks at all likely up in our new town. This will give Chad a chance to be sure that he's going to like his new job and that it's worth relocating our whole life for.

However, I must add this news was softened by the fact I had a fabulous day just one day prior to get this news. I was told by a stranger that I was beautiful-long story-, three people at work told me I was cute, AND I received the following note from my Legal Research professor along with my grade for the class, which was the highest number of points that was possible for the class:

"Dear Jodi, Thank you for participating in my Legal research class. I enjoyed our conversations and really appreciated your outstanding work! As a matter of fact, your final paper will be the standard by which others will be judged. You are a very thoughtful, bright, skillful, talented lady and I am certain that you will succeed in life."

Isn't that the sweetest note? He thinks my brain is sexy.....the note made me very happy!

And so this seems like a good time as any to tell you about the obnoxious lady in my Legal Research class and my criminal law class and after you read the story you'll understand why it makes my professor's note that much sweeter......Imagine this if you will. A semi attractive lady, exactly my age, who has a very nice figure. We'll call her PB (for perky boobs, that I am quite certain are NOT her own if you catch my drift) to protect her identity. About half way through the semester it became very evident that PB thought she was the bee's knees and that I was chopped liver. At every opportunity she liked to try and infer that she was sooooo smart and that I was a blithering idiot. She also told me that she and I quote, "Have a rocking body and didn't mind using it". As in, you're an ugly cow, Jodi, how in the heck do you get through life? Every week in class she would be bragging about how she was graduating with honors, telling everybody in class how smart she was, and just generally being obnoxious. Fast forward to our second exam in Criminal Law. We get our exams back, I have an "A", I mind my own business and look at my grade, grin inwardly, and am glad that once again I bamboozled the professor with my wordiness on the exam. When we had a break at class I sat there minding my own business and PB leans forward and says, "Jodi, what did you get on the exam?"

"This exam?" I say as I tap my exam with my forefinger.

"Yeah, what did YOU get?", PB asks with a smirk.

"Um, an "A", I answer...."

WHAT?!?!?!?!" PB's voice echos of the walls. "How in the hell did YOU get an A?" I got a "C!"

"Hmmmmm"...I respond, secretly gloating because apparently her rocking body doesn't give as big as an advantage as she had hoped. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

"No, seriously, how did you get an A, I don't get it", she screech's.

I don't know, beaoch, I studied? I'm smart, the professor can't stand perky blonds with fake blonds, I don't know. I thought all of this as I shrugged my shoulders and tried to suppress a giggle.

For the next 3 weeks in my Legal Research she whined and complained to anyone that would listen that it wasn't FAIR, she was an A student, she didn't get C's, NOT EVER. Our Criminal Law teacher had it out for her. She just couldn't understand how she got a C and I, me the fat one, got a A! I suggested she talk to our Criminal Law professor, from what I could tell she never did, she even complained to our Legal Research teacher about the test. He just looked at her with one eyebrow arched and suggested that she go and talk to the Criminal Law professor. She complained AGAIN about me getting an A. What the hell? As she left the room in a huff the teacher, the same one who wrote me the nice note, looked at me and said, "WOW, she's really threatened by you isn't she?" I agreed and said I didn't know what her deal was but it was a good thing we only had 3 weeks of class left because if she asked one more time how I got an A I was going to deck her!

I won't bore you with the rest of her insults or how PB was certain I was going to flunk the final in Legal Research because she had LOTS of friends who had taken that class and their papers didn't look anything like mine. Suffice it to say that the note from my Legal Research teacher made my day! Add to that people telling me I was cute and beautiful (which NEVER happens to me) in the same day and it made the blow of not getting my dream job the next day that much softner. Sometimes life gives you something good at just the right time. My awesome day of 2007 is one for the record books and I will recount it with a smile on my face as many times as I need to in order to make it through the bad awful sucky days!

What the hell????

I got this comment on my blog today,

"I would say that the sub-title to your blog is a very detailed, revealing explanation of "why do my children drive me crazy?". If they are being subjected to that kind of a person/mom figure every day...if that is their role-model in life?? It's pretty clear you're reapin' what you sow, Momma! So the question is -- are you just trying to be funny here, or is this a pretty good description of you? Go ahead and read this and delete it. Seriously. But I hope you'll think about it a little, too. Bonnie B. "

WTF???????? Who is Bonnie B? And why does she think that I need advice about why my kids are driving me crazy. They are kids. And that is their job in life, I am quite certain. And tell me, Bonnie B. where is the link to your blog? I want to go on there and make comments about YOUR personality and parenting style too. I did NOT need this today. Didn't your mother ever tell you if you can't say something nice to not say anything at all?

This is MY blog and if I want to be a complicated jumble of contradictions I will be. And my kids are just fine. So shut it Bonnie B whoever in the hell you may be. That's probably not even your real name....

OHHH, I think Bonnie B may be a troll. I gotta say, I'm not liking trolls......

A few tips sponsored by Jodi's World

As a token of my appreciation to my loyal 5 readers I have prepared a few helpful hints that you may or may not find of use in the future. Don't thank me yet. It's a pathetic list really.

1. It is never ever a good idea to try a new hairstyle on the day of a job interview. You may end up looking like somebody who got caught in a wind storm and then forgot to comb their hair afterward.

2. If you happen to be the husband of someone who stupidly tries a new hairstyle on the day of a interview it is NEVER and I do repeat, NEVER, a good idea to look at your lovely wife of 15 years and say, "I thought you liked your hair curly...why is it not curly but not straight either...what did you DO?"

3. If you are coming home from a job interview that went badly, as mine most assuredly did, and your husband says, "Hey are you up for an adventure? Let's go down this road I found on the map, it's a shortcut!", get out of the car. Demand that he take the normal route. Call your mother if you have to. If you don't heed my advice you may end up on a road, a term I use loosely, that has signage that declares you should proceed at your own risk because the road isn't maintained, believe the sign, make your husband turn around immediately. Otherwise the results will be not pleasant. You will have a roaring headache and no sense of humor when you finally arrive home hours later. You will also demand that your husband go back up that stupid road and look for your %$!)!)!kidneys, because you are sure one must have bounced out on that God forsaken wagon trail when your head hit the roof of the car for the 100th time in the last hour. Your heart will be in your throat and your liver will be somewhere down by your big toe.

4. Do not become so sure in the fact that you have a good chance of getting a job that you really really want because when in fact you blow the interview badly (!) you will become quite despondent and grouchy. You will contemplate starting to drink at 1:00 PM on a weekday. And you will greatly regret hanging up on a rude caller the day before at your present job, because you are probably going to need your current job for a whole hell of a lot longer than you would ever want to admit.

5. Don't underestimate the power of preparing well for an interview. Or in my case think that your charming wit and sparkling personality is all that you need, and hell you don't need to prepare for that. Arrive at the interview 10 minutes early, find out you have to interview before three people, and then be asked the hardest questions in the world. Look dumbfounded and stumble all over yourself. Answer the questions honestly, so honestly that the interviewers look at each other with a worried expression on their face and then thank you for coming all this way. "We'll let you know one way or the other in a few weeks. We hope you'll enjoy your day, you freak". Okay, they didn't call me a freak but their eyes said it. And they checked to be sure the door closed and locked firmly behind my backside as I exited the depressing basement office. I wish I could have left my disappointment in there with them too. *sigh*

Okay, I am going to start drinking now. Then I am going to take a shower and hope my pain and humiliation drain down the bathtub or I drown. Cheers!

WHEW~

I got an interview with the County for Wednesday the 16th at 12:00! YIPPEE! And Chad is on the schedule for his classes starting in June! Stay tuned...

I have to go to school now but I will tell you more about the stupid woman in my class.....

What does this mean?

I have returned from my experience participating in the Court Clerk 1 test seemingly unscathed. *whew* How did you think you did oh panicky one, you may ask innocently enough. To that I reply, I have no freaking idea. It was a fairly typical test asking questions about alphabetizing, putting items in a numerical order, proofreading, vocabulary, and simple math. I either did quite well or so-so. I really don't know. It was a computerized test and offers you no feedback one way or the other. I may or may not have turned in a blank test, more on that later possibly.

As I was leaving I spoke with the office manager type lady and asked when they would be holding interviews and when I could expect to hear back from them. She answered me and then gave me a job flyer for a new job that is closing on May 21st, in case I don't get the job I just tested for. It is basically a position where you look at court documents all day, not the people, and keep the court documents straight. A records clerk basically. BOOORRRRRRRRIIINNNNNGGGG. I wasn't sure how to take her offer of another job posting. Does she think I would suck at being a court clerk, does she think I am best served kept hidden from public view, or was she just trying to be polite and helpful? Again, I have no freaking idea. I will know in two weeks one way or the other how I did on the test and whether I will be granted an interview or not. If I don't get this job, and I will cry and piss and moan if I don't, I will apply for the other job and then be prepared to be bored out of my ever freaking mind. However, it could be a good stepping stone for a more interesting position in the future and the pay would be as good as the job I want. *sigh* So now I wait. And pretend to be content in the job I have now.

Chad's surgery went well. Time will tell whether or not it's a success or not. He was able to go with me yesterday. He went out to the college and spoke with the Dean whom he has a formal appointment with in a few weeks. He most definitely has the job. It's going to be interesting. More on that later...

We went and looked at rentals yesterday. Holy Moly. There are lots of crappy places for rent. I may or may not have PTSD from some of the places that we looked at. Bad, bad, bad I tell you. Dirty old 1970's mobile homes with the gross brown carpet, the cheap plastic doorknobs, and moldy windows, all for $850/month. Scary horror movies on a limited budget have been filmed in such places, I am quite certain. I told Chad I didn't care how poor we are, I will not live somewhere like that. Oh, it was awful! Just thinking about it gives me the hippy hippy shakes and not in a good way. We found a few houses that were very livable and in the school district I want the boys to attend. The rent is EXACTLY what our house payment here is. That was encouraging, I guess, unless we have to make both payments then we're going to be in big time trouble. If everything goes our way we will moving in 30 days. That is scary as hell, let me tell you. And then we're going to need moving money which is even scarier. *sigh*

However, my Dad came and visited us this morning, at 7:30 AM, on a Saturday, I may add. He offered to make our house payment for 6 months until we see what will happen with my Grandma. And then collectively we can decide if we want to put the house on the market. That is VERY generous of him. Of course that means we are going to be indebted to him for the rest of our natural lives, but we are already, so what would the difference be? I am humbled and thoroughly touched with his generosity. Will I rue the day we made a binding deal with my Dad? Maybe. Do I have any other viable options at this point? Not really. Could this be an opportunity of a lifetime? Perhaps. There is only one way to find out and that's to take a deep breath and take the plunge, sort of like getting married. You have a 50/50 chance of being either incredibly blessed or very miserable and desperately unhappy. No way of knowing ahead of time which it will be. That my friends is called a big-time, life altering gamble.

I have a interesting sordid tale to regal you with regarding a blasted woman in my Criminal Law class but that will have to wait until next time...I have some floor pacing and finger nail chewing that I need to attend to right now. Ta-ta.