Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Oh. My. God.

Yes, it's me again. I was seriously considering just turning this into a movie review blog, but now I have a new crisis (surprised? Yeah me either) and just have to talk about it.

Trent has been having sleeping issues and he thrashes around so much at night that Connor gets woke up in the night (they sleep on bunk beds). So, we took Trent to the Doc for a look see. Doc said, take him to the child neurologist (that Trent hadn't seen since 2005--we had originally went to the neurologist when Trent was 4 to try and diagnose if he had autism or what) just to get a once over. And the neurologist said he thought it was nothing serious but we should do a follow up EEG (he had one when he was 4 that was totally normal) and maybe a sleep test. The neurologist thought nothing would show up on the EEG, but just wanted to be sure.

WELL, after no sleep for 24 hours for the both of us (you have to be sleep deprived for a EEG) Trent went for his EEG yesterday. And he is having seizures. Lots of seizures. 7 seizures in 17 minutes. The Doc put him on seizure meds, gave him one before Trent even left the office, and said we must go for a MRI ASAP.

I thought I was going to throw up. I am freaking out. (Surprised? Yeah me either) I know that seizures are very common. I know that seizure meds are a good thing. I have NO problem with any of that.

I am freaking out about the MRI. I can't breathe when I think that maybe something is growing in my little ones head. The logical side of me knows that everything is probably fine and that the anti seizure meds will fix everything and we'll live happily ever after. The anxiety freaking out part of me tells the logical side of me to shut it and continues on with a full blown panic attack.

I am purposefully NOT doing on research on MRI's, seizures, or anything you can read about on WebMd. If I did that y'all would have to peel me off the ceiling for real. The thought of something being wrong with your child is the worst feeling ever.

I am thinking it may be a 2 dose Zoloft day for me!

My job is being so very nice about this whole thing. Thank the good Lord for that. I am supposed to be at work this very second sending payroll to the bank. Trent is sleeping soundly and just groans when I try to wake him up. I think it's the combo of taking new meds and being oh so very tired. I called in and my supervisor said he'd run payroll for me. If I had to stay home today that was okay. If nothing else I could just come in later once Chad got home if Trent is not himself today. I see many trips to the neurologist (who is a convenient 5 hours away) in our future. I think my boss does too. And so far they are cool about it. Thank God.

And I have already burned up a TON of my sick time because my Grandma died last month. I took it really hard. I had to take 4 days of bereavement leave because I just could not snap out it. It was horrible. I am doing better now. It was just really hard. And very sad. I loved my Grandma even though she was a very mean old lady who was critical down to the tips of her toes. She was my grandma.

*sigh*

Have I totally bummed you out? Sorry. I just had to vent. Please leave me a comment and tell me that everything is going to be okay!