This is for you, Rosie!

DO NOT PANIC! It is only, I, the lost blogger. Jodi of Jodi's world and/or It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to. Here I am. I have not been in the mood to blog, for like forever. But, then I seen Rosie on Oprah today and decided that I MUST blog again. I have a irrational dream that Rosie actually reads my blog (she is one of the two who read it last August) and that I am letting her down by not blogging! OY. Add "having illusions of grandeur" onto my list of mental frailties.

So, how are you? How are things in your world? Things here are just the same, really. I am still teetering on the verge of a nervous breakdown at a moment's notice. Major drama at work. Of course. When hasn't there been major drama at my work? Good Grief. I have started counseling though (yea me!) so hopefully that will help. I have also started taking Ambian to sleep and am I ever feisty when I get a good nights sleep under my belt. Hold onto your hats blooging peeps!

Remember, a hundred blog posts ago, when I talked about my good friend at work, Supermommy? Well, she is not my such good friend anymore. It was massively hurtful and way too complicated to explain now. My counselor wants me to stand up for myself more, and therein wants me to be more authentic. Supermommy majorly hurt me. We are still working together. There has been DRAMA. So much work drama I can't even begin to explain it all. And I don't consider her my friend anymore and I sure as hell know that I don't trust her. And that she was never my friend to begin with. But, she doesn't seem to know this. She really thinks she can run me over, break my heart, and then we will be okay. And everything will be the same as it was before. She can sense that I have backed off. I mean, I am the same at work, I am trying to be professional. But, I don't text her anymore outside work, I am not inviting her to lunch, or bringing her Starbucks. I am not asking about her kids. I am just being nice in a just business kind of way. She keeps asking me if I am mad. And I keep saying, "no". Because I am not mad. I just know that I can't trust her. And I will never let her hurt me again. I don't want to tell her any of this because I don't want to get the drama all worked up again. I just want to let life be okay and somewhat peaceful. My counselor is going to be disappointed with me. She wanted to me to tell Supermommy that she hurt me, that I can't trust her, and that she can't treat me the way that she did. I canNOT do that and still work with the woman. I can't even imagine the grief I would have to endure. It's such a long story...but when Supermommy left work to go on stress leave I was crying and told her that I really enjoyed working with her and that I hoped she felt better. She was livid at me for saying that and said she had never been treated so badly in her life?!?!! She wouldn't speak to me for three weeks over my supposed callous and hurtful words. WTF? Can you imagine if I told her how I really felt now? I don't even want to think about it.

So, I ask you my dear blogging peeps, what do I do? What do I say? How do I handle this? I know I am asking a lot since I haven't blogged in a coon's age, but I am hoping you can help me out here. PLEASE!!!!

And I will try to blog again, like maybe once a week. For Rosie. And for me. And for delusional bloggers everywhere!