I have turned into my Mother

No, it's true. I have turned into my Mother. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my Mom, I do. But, no matter how much one loves their Mother, you don't want to BE her. Am I right?

The clues have been showing themselves for a while now. When I am particularly stressed or busy and I glimpse a quick glance at myself in a mirror or any shiny surface really, my Mother's reflection is staring back at me. It makes me gasp and jump every single time. My Mom had that look on her face my entire childhood. That look that says, "I am miserable. I am tired. I am feeling a little resentful for all you little buggers and the responsibilities that I have taken on. But, I am doing it because, well, it's my job and I have to". OY.

Last night I was watching the American Music Awards, because I am an awards show junky. and despite the kids being sent to bed they were wandering in and out of the living room as is their custom. As Trent would drift through getting a drink, blowing his nose, giving me a kiss, or asking how many years it would before he could get a driver's license he would stop and gaze at the TV. Then he would make little comments regarding the many half dressed women parading themselves, or worse straddling poles and singing about undoing their buttons, across the stage in various stages of undress. "WHOA", he'd say emitting a soft whistle or "Yeah, un-huh", as he was arching his eyebrows with a twinkle in his eye. I heard myself saying, "Where are those women's clothes? Why doesn't Sharon Stone EVER wear a bra? This show is not appropriate for children, Trent go to bed and I mean now!" And, it was my Mother's shrill stressed voice that was coming from my mouth. Along with the words I have heard myself a gazillion times growing up. And, so the realization that I have turned into my Mother continues. That and the knowledge that she is very smart and astute in her observations! :)

I realize that Trent is a boy and it is part of normal development from him to notice attractive women. But, it saddens me and I would be lying to say it doesn't panic me a bit too. What do I know about boys and puberty and hormones? That answer to that, my dear friends, is absolutely nothing. I look to my lovely husband for answers, as he is more versed in the area of male sexuality than I, and he just giggles. He is not much help. *sigh*

Watching the American Music Awards angered me a bit too for a whole different reason. What progress as women have we made, really? Every act, just about, had half naked women gyrating on the stage objectifying themselves as sexual beings. And the Pussycat Dolls were crooning about undoing buttons and had skirts so short that they were virtually invisible. What happened to the women's movement? Why do women demand to be treated as equals when as a society we are so entertained and bemused by women who are used as nothing more than a prop? And, how as a Mother of two boys, am I supposed to inculcate in them that women are real people, not just objects for your viewing pleasure, who are their equals? Huh? How am I supposed to do that?!?!

And, just now I realized I really AM my mother. She is a big time feminist, always has been, as children she use to tell us that after Cinderella got married and went back to Prince Charming's castle her life consisted of picking up his dirty socks and making his dinner--the message, there is no Prince Charming, girls. And I am now realizing I must be a bit of a feminist myself. WOW. Please excuse me, I need to start drinking heavily so that I can drive from my consciousness that I indeed am my Mother.