A dingo got my baby!

We went to the one horse town this weekend to visit our very bestest friends Jeff & Candace. We had a great time as always. They took us to a get together, with all 25 of the townspeople, Chad and I are such party animals everybody had to keep telling us to sit down and shut up. Quit dancing atop of the tabletops already the townspeople yelled, what kind of an example were you people setting for the children? Oy. I think I talked to 4 people the whole evening, including Chad & Candace. I'm not exactly overly friendly in big groups. Poor Jeff & Candace, they are very social people. I am sure they wonder daily how they ever hooked up with us losers. *sigh*

We had a great time. Oh yeah, except we lost Connor and the Highway Patrol had to bring him back to the house. Yep, you read that right, we lost Connor in the land of the sage brush. It was quite scary. The kids were out playing in the "yard" and it was FREEZING, because, well, it's always freezing where there is sage brush. The four adults, a term I use loosely, were in the house drinking coffee, laughing, enjoying the peace and quiet. About an hour later here comes Trent and Brady, red nosed and looking like little Popsicles. Where is Connor we ask? He's in the house, the boys replied. Um, no he's not. Fast forward 45 minutes later, all adults are out combing the countryside looking for our little 5-year-old asthmatic in the freezing butt cold land of wild animals, abandoned mines and dried up wells. Every bad thought and scary thing that could have happened to him was screaming thru my head. I wondered out loud if in a town of 3000 do they even have a search and rescue? OhMyGAWD. I was thinking we were going to have to stay here forever until we found Connor. Candace had sent her teenage niece, Tasha, up the road to search for our little lost soul. I was pacing in the house waiting for an adult to come back and watch Candace's youngest, Allison, so I could go and scream for my son myself. The phone rings, it's the niece, Tasha. "Jodi, we have Connor, he flagged down a car for help and they called the Sheriff, you gotta come down here and let them know that you're his Mom". OHMYLORD. Candace went and fetched him from the Highway Patrol and I didn't stop shaking for an hour.

Apparently what had happened was that Connor told the big boys, 7 & 8 year-olds, that he wanted to come back to the house because he was cold and the boys said okay, fine go. Because boys that age are VERY considerate and caring that way they set the poor little guy on this merry way alone. Well, Connor got lost and wandered around until he found a road. After he couldn't figure out which way to go, or where the house was from there, he FLAGGED down a car for help. Thank God it was not a pedophile looking for a new act in his Internet live stream show called, "From the clubhouse" and the nice lady who found Connor called the cops. (yes, I watch too much Law & Order what can I say?)

To say the whole thing was scary is a gross understatement. It didn't even occur to me to warn the boys to stay in the yard. I didn't think they would ever wander so far away from away from the house that they couldn't find their way back. And there we were in the house the whole time enjoying the peace and quiet. In the hour that he was lost I was imagining the news crew showing up and me standing there with my hair standing on end in my old ratty gray sweats with bleach spots saying to the channel 6 news crew, in a Southern accent, "I just don't know what happened. We were in the house drinking our whiskey sours and them kids were right there playing in the old truck, I swear. And then poof, the little one was gone. It's the strangest thing ya'll." Either that or screaming that a dingo got my baby, in an Australian accent. One or the other. Apparently in times of stress my brain turns to other dialects for comfort, hey, I have never ever claimed to be sane, people! I really would love a Southern accent in real life, I think it sounds soooo very cool. Anyway...

The whole experience was quite terrifying. When we go back up there, we were invited for New Year's, those people must be sadist's, I told the kids if they go outside I am going to tie them all together with the dog's leash and give them a bullhorn. Connor told me not to worry, he was never going outside again. And for that I was thankful.