Warning: Philosophical post ahead

For some reason unbeknownst to me, I woke up this morning feeling quite philosophical. Trust me, this doesn't happen often. Maybe it's because I am starting this new job next Monday {YES, I got the job!} and it makes me recall all my past jobs and how said careers have affected my life, my psyche, my friendships, the very essence that is indeed Jodi of Jodi's world. Some of the best friends I have made have been at work. Hmmmm, what kind of new friendships are awaiting me on the horizon?? Or plain old psychos which I seem to attract just by breathing, but that's neither here nor there.

Even deeper than thoughts of friendships is this little quandary. I was born and raised in Montana, not as glam or rustic as one would hope, and moved with my family to Cali when I was 19 and have been in the same town since. However, right before we moved to the Promised Land I had second thoughts about moving. I wanted to stay in my birth place. My Mom did her best Jewish Mother guilt trip on me {despite the fact we're not Jewish} and I moved in spite of not wanting to leave my life and friends behind. What if I would have stayed in Montana?? How much different would my life look? I would have never met my friend, Esther, who has provided me with not only a plethora of laughs but was also my Maid of Honor when I got married 15 years ago, but also threw wonderfully awesome baby showers for both my boys. Nanci, who took our wedding pictures was a friend I met at work. If I hadn't moved here who would have taken our wedding pictures? I met John, the minister who married us, and Colleen, his wife who did my wedding flowers, in Cali. If I had stayed in MT who would have married us and did my flowers? All our wedding presents would be different and some of those wedding presents I still use every day. In case you are wondering, I have no doubt I would still be married to my hubby 'cuz I met him in MT and he followed me to Cali. Poor sucker. He doesn't let me forget it when it's 110 degrees either.

Would my children have been conceived on the night that they were here in Cali? Would I even have my children had I been under the big sky's of MT? Then there is the matter of one of my very best friends, Candace. Had I been in MT I would have never met her or her kids. Her family has became so intertwined with my own that I cannot imagine life without her. And another of my best friends, MaryJane who is absent from the blogging world right now--what's up with THAT?---is still in MT. We have maintained a long distance friendship for the last 20 some odd years. Could we have remained friends had we been next door neighbors? I would like to think so, but you just never know. AND then there is the matter of blogging. Had I never moved to Cali I would have never met Some Random Girl who introduced me to the fine world of blogging! Who would I be rambling too if it wasn't to my blogging buddies?

See, what I mean, isn't it kinda creepy when you think of how one decision can totally cause a ripple effect? I guess this is what movies like the "butterfly effect" are all about. One little move can change your whole life, for better or worse. What would you be reading right now if you weren't reading THIS post??? You may be wishing you weren't even reading this post RIGHT now, but I can't do anything about that, now can I?

I got up this morning feeling all deep and contemplative on my life and was telling Chad, hubby, all about my thoughts. He was like, hmmm, you're odd, and not in a quirky cute kind of way, more in a you're insane kind of way. Thanks honey, I think I would be this weirdo no matter where we lived, but thanks. He's a mechanic and a damn good one at that, he started wondering out loud how much different our lives would be if he wasn't a mechanic. I said I wished he was a chiropractor. He asked why and I replied, "cuz my back hurts this morning and if you were a chiropractor my back wouldn't hurt". Yeah, I'm deep and philosophical like that.

How about you, do you ever think about where you would be if you had zigged instead of sagged??? I mean zagged....But I guess sagged would work too. :)

This, that, and the other

The big news in our house is that Connor, 5, has a loose tooth. He's very excited. He's being a bit melodramatic about the whole thing though, as is his nature. He's a minature drama queen.

"My mouth hurts soooo bad, Mommy! Do SOMETHING", Connor moans while rolling around on the floor.

"What would you like me to do, Connor?", I say trying to be patient, understanding, yet in a firm voice that suggests I will not tolerate whining and unnecessary carrying on.

"I don't know Mom, it's my loose TEETHES! MOM! What am I a gonna do if ALL my teeth fall out, MOM?!?! What then? How will I eat, I'm gonna starve, MOM! OWWWW, my mouth!"

"Connor, kids for thousands of years have been losing baby teeth. It's no big deal. It just means that your grown up teeth are coming in, that's all. You're not going to lose them all at once, I promise. That baby tooth is barely even loose. You'll be fine and you'll be able to eat, I promise".

"What?!?!?! I have other teeth in my mouth besides my baby teeth?", Connor screeches while holding his jaw like a dentist is heading at him with a drill. "Does this mean I am getting Daddy teeth? Will they be big like Daddy's teeth?? My mouth isn't big enough for Daddy teeth!!!", Connor is yelping and jumping around with his hand over his mouth at this point.

"Connor, your teeth will be just the right size for your mouth. Don't worry about it. This is just what happens when you're 5, remember? Trent has lost baby teeth and he's just fine, he hasn't starved once, alright?"

"Yeah, whatever, Mom can I watch Manny NcPhee?" That's Nanny McPhee for those of you who don't speak 5-year-old. :)

And, as exicitng as that story was, do you wanna know about my ever elusive job search? I know that you do and it's been keeping you up nights, so here goes. I went for my interview Friday which turned out to be a really long (2 hours) and HARD testing process. I must have done alright 'cuz I was scheduled for an interview yesterday at 3:30, which lasted for almost 2 hours as well. I must have done okay at that interview because I have ANOTHER interview today at 2. I don't know if I am such an ideal candiate that the company is trying to determine if I am for real or not and trying to find a crack in my stellar abilities. Maybe they are looking into the company's finances to see just how much money they want to offer me??

Or maybe they are stalling me in hopes the authorities will show up in time to cart me off to the nut house? I have no idea. All I know is that I have to be there today, again, at 2 PM SHARP! I may or may not be having a stroke at this point, I couldn't tell you for sure. I will keep you posted.

Will & Grace

Did you watch the finale of Will and Grace last night? It was really good. I love that show. It's sooooo funny. I could watch it like 5x a day. Not kidding. I am so bummed it's over. BOOOOHOOOO. Just thought I would share that little nugget with you on a Friday morning.

The season finale of ER was a true blue cliff hanger too. It's amazing they can still come up with all these story lines after allllllllll these years.

What TV show will leave you devastated with it's eventual demise?

How dorky am I?

Don't answer that. It's a rhetorical question. . . And besides that I know I am dorky. But, anyway, the reason my post is this. I am studying for my Soc final tomorrow. We can use notes for the essay portion of the exam. I am typing said notes on the computer. I am listening to the Classic Country radio station on Yahoo Messenger. And I know almost every song and worse than that I LOVE these songs. And listening to this music is making me happy, happy, happy. Happy as a puppy with two, oh never mind, that's gross. Anyway, I am so dorky that I embarrass myself and I just thought you should know! Oy. I am off to study about creative vital marriages and a conscious vs an unconscious marriage. NOW, that's lame....

Hogpog

Alright, first of all I want to tell you to go visit my friend's blog, Of Socks and Men, Bonnie B is an awesome writer. She does a mixture of poems, which I am not a fan of poetry so I can't tell you if it's good or not--I am assuming that it is, and then some regular writing stuff. Anyway, you'll feel smarter for visiting her blog, I promise, so go click on her link up there, come on just click. Right now, I'll wait....

See, don't you feel smarter? I told you that you would! And on to the news of my life. Dramatic drum roll, please. I wanted to give you all an update since I have had you on pins and needles wondering what happened with the dynamic mother/daughter duo of T & K. Or as they shoud be called "dumb and dumber". Sorry, that was mean, although not totally uncalled for. But, we should not utter disparaging remarks to or about those of us who are a beer short of a six pack. And that, my blog friends, is your civic lesson for the day.

T. got out of jail. She goes back to court next week wherein she will most likely be punished by being put on probation. She beat up her husband, was mouthy with the fine peacekeeping efforts of the men in blue, and made a general ass of herself while in jail. I think that deserves probation, don't you? She got out of jail and hightailed it over to juvvy, where the authorities had warehoused K for the night not knowing what to do with K after she was released from the hospital, and picked her daughter up. It is NOT against the law to be on probation so she was allowed to pick her kid up from juvvy. After this my brilliant sister decided she didn't want to live with her husband anymore, he was just too restrictive. She wants to stay out all night drinking and hanging with other men. He just does not like that for some odd reason. Therefore, T & K have moved out of the apartment, leaving T's other 2 kids there with their Dad, and are moving into an apartment that is being paid for by the County. It's a long story and one you don't want to hear, trust me.

K is thrilled beyond belief. She will be able to do whatever in the hell she wants while it's just her & her brain dead Mother. Only T has ALREADY found a new boyfriend, she is a fast worker, so who knows what kind of rules the new guy will have. Hard to say really.

And so, in the continuing soap opera that is my life, "As the Stomach turns", I don't have to worry about what I am going to do with my wild niece, at least for this week. For this I am thankful. I am hopeful she will be alive and well this time next week. Tune in for the next installment of ATST as our heroine {that would be ME 'cuz this is MY blog, damnit} discovers she is pregnant with an alien lifeforms offspring, her house was hit by a meteor and the insurance company failed to cover her loss listing it as a "an act of bad luck", the bank closes her checking account citing a distburance in the "force", and she fails all her Finals exams despite pulling straight A's this semester. *sigh* I hope I get wrote out next season, I am tired of being the heroine on a soap opera....

Update: I fixed the funky link for Bonnie's blog above. Sorry about that. I guess I'm not as techno savvy as I hoped. (haha) And I just found that K. got a nose ring. Isn't that sweet? A troubled 14-year-old with a nose ring. Doesn't it make you go AUGHGHGH. OY VEY.

My life has went to hell and a hand basket

I believe I should start this post by saying I do NOT believe in reincarnation. However, if I DID believe in the concept of our former lives following us into this one it sure would explain a lot about my life these last few weeks. And one thing I would know for sure is that I must have been a bad MOFO in my previous life, perhaps a Nazi war criminal or a killer of kittens and puppies?*sigh*

I am the oldest of four children. My sister closest to me in age, T., is well, wild, so wild that I don't know how we can from the same gene pool. Maybe my Mom slept with a local Hell's Angel? This girl has been causing problems for her whole life. I have often asked my Mom if T. was dropped as a child, or if maybe we lived under power lines when my Mom was pregnant with T., because I can not figure out what in the world went wrong there. We were literally raised side by side, shared a room our whole life, and there is no good reason that she turned out so badly except for the fact she is crazy and has a wander lust that a gyspy would envy. I could literally write a book about all of T.'s adventures when we were teenagers. I wrote a funny memoir type paper about it since I have been in college, I will maybe put a part of it in my blog someday. ANYWAY, T. has been somewhat sane since she turned 18 and knew she would go to big girl's jail instead of juvvy if she misbehaved. That and the fact that she has been on extreme amounts of psychotic medications, that seems to have helped as well. This is not to say she is a good Mother or has a good and productive life, she has 3 children. My niece, K. who is 14, my nephew J. who is 9, and his brother M. who is 8. Her instincts as a Mother are bad, her taste in men is worse.

My Mom ended up raising K. for most of her life. T. just couldn't be bothered to take care of K. My Mom was never able to get legal custody of K. for one reason or another, but took really, really good care of K. We knew that not having her Mom was really hard on K. and she went to therapy since she was 5 to help K. deal with those issues. T.'s boys have always lived with T., because she is, was, still with their Dad. He is almost as bad a Dad as she is a Mom. Bad, bad combo. And you don't even want to KNOW about K.'s father, he's a convicted rapist and currently in prison. Lovely, isn't it?

A little over a year ago my Mom & Dad had to move in with my Grandparents to take care of them, my parents literally only moved 2 miles up the road, so they are still here & a active part of K.'s life. At that point I inherited K. I was happy that she came to live with us. I have always been a part of K.'s life and my boys LOVE her and think she's so cool. I was excited to have her be a part of my family. After she moved in with us she was diagnosed as being bipolar. We started her on medication right away along with talk therapy. Everything was going pretty well, with the expection of her taking my kids to her boyfriend's house, that I didn't know existed, and doing some pretty inappropriate activities in front of my innocent boys. *sigh* That should have been my red flag of what was to come...After school started she got really wild and out of control. She stole our car and crashed it through our neighbor's fence {we wanted to press charges and nobody would help us, that's the subject of another post}, she ran away, she half heartedly attempted suicide and ended up in the hospital twice {I say half heartedly because she lied about how much meds she took and once we were at the hospital she started ordering cheese burgers, and fries, and acting like she was at summer camp}, she lied like nobody's business, and generally reminded me so much of her Mother I had to restrain myself to keep from doing her great bodily harm.

Her last suicide attempt at my house was November 1st, 2005. She was sent to a mental hospital and while there told the staff she wasn't coming home to my house because I was a bitch and wanted to go live with her Mother. Since I don't have legal custody of her the staff at the hospital told me they couldn't FORCE her to come home with me. At that point I was so sick of her BS I didn't really mourn the fact that she wasn't coming home to me.

Since November she has been hospitalized 4 more times for attempted suicide, ended up in juvvy for attempted murder of her Mother, contracted some nasty STD's , and joined a gang. I think she'll be Valedictorian of her high school class, don't you?

Fast forward to last night. I find out T. Is in jail. For battery on her husband and intimidating a witness attempting to make a report about the battery. And T. and her hubby, who is not a nice man in the least, have split up and he kicked her out of the house. And K. Is in the hospital AGAIN and was due to get out, but had nobody to pick her up 'cuz her Mom was in jail. They are about 10 hours from here. My Mom made a bunch of calls today and it looks like K. Is either going to be sent back to juvvy, which would be good she is on probation for 2 years, or they are going to send K. Back up here. Which means I will probably inherit her again by default. *sigh*

Add this to the fact we are having severe money problems, my husband's health is failing, I am PMSing, our car has decided it has served our household long enough and is threatening to give it up any day now, my kids are growing like weeds and out of their clothes faster than I can find the funds to reclothe them, and my Mom is having serious health problems, and you can see why I am starting to wonder if I was a Nazi kitten killer in my former life.

On a happy note I found my calendar that I talked about here. Yippee! It was in my walk-in closet, which is a term I use loosely since I can't step in let alone walk in this closet it's such a frightful mess. What possessed me to put that damn calendar in there I will never know. I'm just happy I found it before the end of the year.

Excuse me, I think I may have forgotten take my Zoloft today. . .

Can't you just go watch TV?!, she pleads

I am trying to do homework. I have to fill in some BS worksheets for my food and nutrition class. I need to type up study notes for my Admin of Justice class, I really should consider starting to read my textbook for my Marriage and Family quiz Friday. Here's my problem. I am home with a 5-year-old, who's bored out of his mind. He normally goes to preschool on Thursday, but our budget dictates that he stay home today. OY.

Tap, tap, tap on my arm. "Mom, what does PO spell?"

"It doesn't spell anything, Honey."

"Oh, how do you spell poop then? ", inquiring minds want to know. Is the kid planning on competing in a pre-K spelling bee? I have no idea.

"P-o-o-p, Connor Mommy really needs to work on this. Do you want to watch PBS kids?"

"No, that's boring. I will go into my room, okay?" That would be AWESOME. yes, please go.

2 seconds later, "Mom, watch this!" Connor then shows me his latest judo-kick-spider-man move. "Look how high i can jump Mom!"

"Yes, honey that's GREAT! You are soooo strong. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"That's boring, Mom, I will go outside with Daisy", our beagle. Okay, GO! Please, go.

2 seconds later, "Mom, my throat feels dry? Can I have some apple juice? How about some toast? But, not the weird kind with the yucky crust, I mean some normal kind of bread. WAIT! I want to put the toaster down, S T O PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" 35 minutes later Connor has finally stopped crying because I "never let him do anything" and is eating his snack.

"Connor, do you want to watch a movie in Mommy's room with some popcorn? Please". PLEASE.

"That's boring, Mom. I'll paint". ALRIGHTY. Where was I? Oh yes, the dangers of yo-yo dieting.

2 seconds later, tap, tap, tap..."Mom, look what I made! Can I go get the mail? When is Trent, his older brother, getting off the bus, Mom? When do I go to Kindgergarten? (in approximately 110 days, sweetheart) Do you know why the answering machine goes nnnneeennnnn when you don't answer the phone? Hey, is somebody calling? Is it a bill? How come you and Daddy have so many bills? Mom, why does Daisy lick her butt? Mom, can I mop the floor? Mom, will you get me on dotcom? i wanna go to Cartoon Network and play some violent games. I mean video games. MOM. Can you hear me, Mom? Why are you fat? Why come you always go like this, Mom? {Connor then does his best imitation of me sighing heavily, rubbing my temple, and cursing silently under my breath}".

"Honey, do you wanna watch PBS kids? People's Court? Price Is Right?" I am now literally on my hands and knees pleading with the child to leave me alone for 5 minutes.

"Nah, that's boring. I think I'll just talk to you, Mommy!"

OHMYGAWD. Where is my gin & tonic? Can I start drinking at 10:45AM?

"Mom, what does green and blue make? Do you know? Just tell me what you thinks it makes. Does it make red? Huh?"

Postscript

1:42 PM I am in the bathroom. Trying to, well, go to the bathroom. I'm in the powder room about 3.5 seconds and there is a light tapping on the door. Then, "Mom, MOM, are in there? MOM?!?!!"

"yes, Connor, I'll be right out. I'm in here". I then spy a little hand wiggling widly in the space under the door.

"MOM! MOM?! MOM?!" Connor pleads, "Answer me MOM!"

"Connor, I am in the bathroom, do I bother you when you're in the bathroom? I'll be out in a minute". OHMYWORD, I am really am going to lose my mind.

"BUT, MOM! I need to ask you a question!!!! It's super immmmmportannanttt"!!!

"okay, Connor, what?"

"Mom, how do you make yogurt?"

"I don't know Connor, why don't you call and ask Grandma".

"But, MOMMMMMMMMMM"!

"WHAT......DO......YOU.....WANT....I'm in the bathroom".

"MOM! Where are all the dinasours?!?!"

"CONNOR, I do NOT know, please go away. I will be out in 2 minutes I promise".

"BUT, MOM!"

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAATTTTTTTTTTT?"

"what's 2 times 4? Is it 8? Or it is 6? I am confused." Alright, this kid is going to be in pre-k spelling bee and math competition I guess.

"Connor, it's 8. PLEASE, I will be out in 1 minute."

"Okay, Mommy". I hear him gallopping away. We have approximately 4 hours until Daddy gets home. Yippee!!!! He will then by fielding all questions.