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I have a confession to make, I tend to get my feelings hurt way way too easily and make mountains of mo hills. Whew...now that I got THAT off my chest. . .
I had lunch with two of my girly work friends today. One of them, let's call her Eve, announced she is 3 months pregnant with her first baby! Awesome good news! Yippee for Eve! She is a very nice person, she's 31, and will be a great Mom.
So, me and Super Mommy, who is my very bestest work friend we get along like pb&j, where gushing over her pregnancy and Eve looks pointedly at SM (Super Mommy) and says, "Okay, you are going to have to tell me EVERYTHING about being pregnant and being a Mom, since you have four kids and have done this before".
I, jokingly, said, "Hello, Eve, I'm sitting right here, I have 2 kids remember, what am I chopped liver?" SM and I start giggling because I don't know, we think I'm funny I guess.
Eve replies, "Well, yeah, but I hear everybody talking about SM like she's a awesome Mom and is just wonderful at the whole Mommy thing. I have NEVER heard anybody call YOU a super Mom".
I said, "Yeah, that's true. I'm not a super Mom. But, I am a Mom and I have been pregnant before! I can tell you lots of things, promise."
Eve just kind of smiled at me and said again to Super Mommy she had lots of questions for HER.
YOUCH. My feelings are majorly hurt, should I be offended? Or do you think that in Eve's first time motherness she just thinks the only advice that is good is if it comes from somebody who has perfected the art of mothering?
To be fair, Super Mommy really is a Super Mommy. She has 4 kids, cooks from scratch, is married but is practically a single parent because she husband works out of town, and all of her kids are in a zillion sports each, and she's very active in the community. If any of my blogging peeps can recall, I am NONE of those things. My only claim to fame is the fact that my kids are still alive and aren't in major trouble for anything yet. Chad is definitely the better parent! He is an awesome parent. He really really is. Me, not so much.
So, my question is this, do you think that your value as a parent goes down when you are bad at it? And should my feelings be hurt by Eve's remark or should I just chalk it up to being a new Mommy? Help me out here, please!
Well as long as it’s convenient
3 days ago
9 comments:
She is a naive new mommy! Ignore it, you are a great mom and you shouldn't let it get to you. If someone who is about to be a parent for the first time doesn't want my advice, or if they ask for it and then ignore it, I take great comfort in smiling to myself and saying silently: "yes, just you wait and see" mwahahahaha!
Don't let your feelings get hurt, just sit back, relax, and watch the show!
Glad my Olympic posts are making you laugh. There's another one up now.
Even 7 years old is young to begin admiring women's physical traits. Your husband must be proud. I know I would be.
If Eve wants to learn to be a good mom and survive the park, she's going to have to learn tact. She was WAY out of line. If she's rude in the future (even if she doesn't mean to be), set her straight in a nice way. "Perhaps I can't help you, but maybe a little chat with Miss Manners could go a long way because that was way out of line."
or--
"I think you are right, you sound as if you need all the help Super Mommy can deliver."
or--
"Well, I wish you the best of luck." (turn on heel,walk away, slam the door, scratch obscenities into her desk and go postal)
or YOU COULD let it go-- but she was out of line.
No that was rude. I would have been seriously irritated. Because you don't make meals from scratch means you don't know what it feels like to try to breastfeed an infant? Does that mean you don't have any tricks to share about getting babies to sleep? Does that mean you don't know what it's like to be huge and uncomfortable and pee every five minutes in your ninth month?
Having four kids makes you a experienced at managing four kids. That's it. It doesn't make you any more knowledgable or better than any other mother.
And the fact that you called her out and she didn't backtrack and add you in there too...weird. Tactless. Rude. How could you NOT take offense to that.
I'm sure in time, when she's further along, she'll be asking your opinions and advice and you'll both be past it, but in THAT moment...she was rude.
OH! Thank you!!!!!! Your comments means a lot. And you are right. I just never know if I am overreacting or what. But, the more I think about it and the more that people leave comments, like YOU, I KNOW it was rude. And competely without tact. Lord. Now the trick is to get past it and just move on. THAT's where I have serious issues. . .
I posted a comment the other night and stoopid blogger ate it. But, it was full of such fabulous wisdom. I'm going to attempt to re-create the fun. 8) BUT, first I have three things to say:
1.) BB? Thoughts? I love Dan, Michelle and Memphis. If anyone else wins I'm going to cry. in my cosmo.
2.) I'm LOVING your new template girlie!! It's Adorable!
3.) I have an email to send you about my job. It's been an interesting road, but it's all coming together finally. I have managed to grow an ulcer the size of Texas though. feh.
BUT, about this preggo pal of yours....it was HELLA rude!!!!! AND you are a fabulous mama. I see it and hear it in your writing and you have said so many times how much you love to cuddle with your babies while watching movies. It's not all about cooking from stratch or having a spotless home or shuttling around kids from dawn to dusk in a mini van it's about unconditional love and support and you give that tenfold my friend.
xo.
Tell her to piss off. 8)
you are a super mommy in your own right. Who cares what she thinks? I think you are an awesome mommy! how are you by the way???? I haven't talked to you in forever! Hope all is well!
I violently hope that my kids never realize that there are better mothers out there.
Your friend could have been a little more tactful, for sure.
I agree with Molly. She's just new at this and is probably very impressed with the notion of someone having four kids as opposed to two. You aren't a poor parent, love. You know that. There is no super mom...no perfect mother. She doesn't exist. We all make mistakes along the way. Each child is different and each one is an experiment in motherhood.
I would ignore the remark and chalk it up to naivety. She'll learn soon enough...mwahahahahahaa.
CP
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