The great camping debate of 2006

You know how something is bothering you, but you don't WANT it to bother you, so then it just keeps pecking away at your consciousness like a leaky faucet drip, drip, dripping? Oh, please humor me and say that know what I mean?! Okay. So, I have this problem and the only way I can purge it is to blog about it. I apologize. This will probably be one BORING post. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I never said Jodi's world was pretty folks. Oh no, I did NOT. HMPPFHHHH.

Okay, so you all know about our money problems, as I have been bitching, moaning, and generally being a whiny butt about it all summer, right? Let's just say that our situation was NOT getting any better. It just kept getting more and more dire. I am not even sure how that IS possible, but that's not the point. Chad decided to sell his truck. I was heartbroken and sad. It's been a really good truck and we need a 2nd car soooo bad, especially now that I am working. He was going to sell it and then buy something cheap and fix it up--he's a mechanic. My parents got wind that he was going to sell the truck and offered to float us a loan.

This is extraordinary because a) I didn't know my parents had any money to loan and b) they pride themselves on letting their kids struggle a little bit and not interfering in their business. Which I totally admire in a neutral 3rd party kind of way. After much deliberation we decided to accept the loan. Chad worked out repayment details with my Dad. Chad & i sat down and figured out the best way to spread the loan around and pay as many bills as we could. Then we made up a NEW budget that included the weekly payments to my parents and all our monthly bills. Our money situation is so looking up. Added to the fact that I will get my financial aide money from school on the 21st we are feeling the weight lifting off of us, which is a VERY good thing. A good thing indeed.

Therefore, in spirit of the feelings of goodness we decided to plan a CAMPING trip to a KOA cabin about 3 hours from here. I got a pit in my stomach wondering what my parents would say. When we were growing up we NEVER had money and my parents had their noses to the grindstone almost always. I truly can remember very few times we ever did anything that was purely recreational or even buy what my Mom considers "non-basic" groceries. I am serious. I think that's one of the reasons I LOVE grocery shopping and going out to eat, because it's something we never did when I was a kid and when we did it was very stressful because of how much it was going to cost. Granted, now that I am a parent I TOTALLY understand their stress, they had 4 kids to feed and clothe and never, ever enough money.

I was sick of this feeling of dread in my stomach so I told my Mom about our CAMPING plans. She said, "WELL, your Dad and I would NEVER want to interfere in your daily life, but I think your Dad would feel galled if you went camping. I KNOW what he had that money put aside for and he'd be insulted if you went camping". OOOOOOKKKKKKAAAAAYYYYY. I mean, I understand from a intellectual point of view why she said that. They really and truly don't have very much money. I have NO clue where my Dad got that money to loan us. Truly. And they live the simplest life. So simple it's sad, really. And I am sure she is wondering what got us in this mess in the first place. i am wondering that as well. It is a laundry list of circumstances, none of which would seem alarming alone, but together spell disaster.

However, from a emotional point of view I am miffed. And mad at myself for having to borrow money from them. We are going to have to play mother-may-I until the loan is paid off. *sigh* And i HATE being told what to do so it's really going to grate on my last nerve. And I hate living like a monk and feeling guilty for buying take out pizza! GRRRRRRRR.

And I don't want to alienate her because I am selfish. I need her help for daycare. I will be SOOOOOO screwed if I make her mad and she doesn't help me with the kids once school starts. So I am stuck. I am forced to pretend it doesn't bother me. I have to be brave and tell my kids that no, we are not going camping, no we can't go see "Barnyard", no we can't go McDonald's. All the while I am looking into their faces remembering what it felt like to be a kid who NEVER ever got to do anything just for fun. And it makes me sad, and angry and conflicted as hell.

Somehow I think our anniversary trip out of town for October just got cancelled too. *sigh*

Edit by author:::::::::::::
Thank you for all your kind words and suggestions. It means a lot to me, it really really does. Thank you!! Okay, here is what we have decided to do. We are going to POSTPONE, not cancel the camping trip for when we have the loan paid off. Chad went and put some camping supplies, a camp stove, some sleeping bags, on layaway today. That was very exciting for the boys! We have also decided to speed up our payment schedule with my parents. We were to pay $50 a week starting in November and we instead are going to start paying in September and pay $75/week. We are hoping we have them totally paid off by February this way. Then we will be free to go camping AND out to McDonalds in the same weekend if we want! To celebrate getting our debt to the mob, er I mean my parents, paid off we will then go camping on the coast for the weekend. Chad and I are both happy with this plan and feel like we have found a workable suggestion to our quandary. Thank you all again! It was mostly due to your suggestions that we came up with this idea....my blogging peeps are great..what can I say???