How domestic am I?

I was recently asked via a chain-mail-e-mail invite to share my favorite recipe with 2 people. If I failed to comply I was promised that all my future meals would taste well, like crap. Since I do not want to piss off the Betty Crocker of the Internet, I have decided not to risk my future of domestic Goddessnes to do one better and share my favorite all time recipe with my favorite 5 loyal readers of Jodi's World. How lucky are all of you? Now, get a pen and some paper so you can write down this delicious and satisfying family favorite. Go ahead, I'll wait.~~~Jeopardy music playing as I wait patiently for you, my dear blogging friend, to find your dusty recipe cards and a leak proof pen....da dah daah do do da!~~ Ready? Good, here we go....

How to order pizza
1. Get out the phone book
2. Look for coupons in the back of phone book for special deals
3. Call up your local pizza joint
4. Ask them for their specials for the evening
5. Decide if any of them sound good or you want your old stand by? This is a MAJOR factor in your success and very important to take your time when making this crucial decision. Shall you order the wrong pizza your recipe will turn out like, well, crap.
6. Order pizza, don't forget to always include with bread sticks and cheese too, and a 2 liter bottle of soda for the kiddo(s)
7. If you're lucky they will deliver and you can blog while you are waiting for the 45 minutes for them to show up.
8. Pizza arrives, open door, pay the man.
9. Call to kiddo(s) that dinner is done, wipe the sweat from your brow, then sit down to eat, on paper plates because then you won't need to do dishes, and give thanks for all pizza delivery drivers everywhere.
10. ENJOY! Don't worry this recipe is very special in that this pizza will be calorie free and your body will treat it like grapefruit as it is digested! However, you must follow the steps I have outlined for you to the LETTER or tomorrow you will get up feeling bloated and won't be able to zip your favorite jeans. We all know we don't want THAT to happen, Good Lawd, can you imagine? Don't tempt fate my friend, follow my exact directions in this recipe.

And that, my dear(s), is my favorite recipe.