The scourge of 2006

Boo~hiss. This is how I feel today. Please bear with me. First of all, it's Halloween. I loathe Halloween for all the obvious reasons.

Second, remember the flu my children have had? Who can forget? I haven't stopped yammering on about it for 3 posts now. Yes, being the generous beings that they are they have infected their own and only Mother. I have been sick so very sick since Friday. I even threw up in my car on the way home from work. EWWWW. Yes, you're welcome for the mental picture. I do believe the children may or may not be trying to kill me off. Maybe the little monsters have a bright shiny skinny new wife picked out for their Dad? WELL, I have a few little things I would like to tell that poor unsuspecting bimbo. She should refer to just about any post in the blog to give herself a good and accurate picture of what she's getting herself into. Yes, all 3 of them, the boys and Chad, are cute. BUT, GOOD LAWD...... No, smartass, wild paranoia is not one of the symptoms of this flu, I'm like this all the time. I like to think it adds to my aura of sparkling wit and charming personality.

I have not been this sick in years. This epidemic will forever be referred to as "The scourge of '06". {In order to get the full effect you must use a deep and dramatic TV voiceover tone.} I have had all kinds of bodily fluids emitting from my orifices. And I started my period. I am one happy camper, let me tell you. EWWWWWW.

Add to this whole lovely visual the fact my house is so filthy I could host a haunted house party while doing zero prep work. Cobwebs? Check. Scary looking zombie creatures wandering around in filthy dirty clothes from the early 90's, moaning, clutching their stomach and looking like they may hurl? Check. Dirty dishes with odd substances on them that could be yucky things like eyeballs or some other grossness? Check, check and double check. Scary articles falling from closets with no provocation. Yep, got that too. Add a frightened, spooked little beagle and you have yourself a complete pictorial of our lovely home. Enticing vision, isn't it?

Oh, and I forgot to mention that Chad had to rebuild our front porch this weekend because the rain is coming. Doesn't that make it sound like we live in the rain forest? I guess we kind of do, when the rain starts it rains with a vegenance, let me tell ya. And so the throbbing in my head was matched by the pounding of the hammer. And, my 8-year-old little sweet son hit puberty over the weekend and decided he hated me. He put a huge blob of caulking from the door in my hair ON PURPOSE and then ran like a bat out of hell when I started screaming like a little girl "somethingisinmyhairdamnit, getitout, GETTTTTITTTTTTTTOUTTTTTTTTT". 8 shampoos and no hot water later I emgerred a pissed off pruned up Mommy with straw for hair. Trent is grounded until he's 25 in case you are wondering. Gosh, if Trent would have thinking he should have recorded my screaming for the whole haunted house motif theme we got going on here.

Bah Humbug.