A few tips sponsored by Jodi's World

As a token of my appreciation to my loyal 5 readers I have prepared a few helpful hints that you may or may not find of use in the future. Don't thank me yet. It's a pathetic list really.

1. It is never ever a good idea to try a new hairstyle on the day of a job interview. You may end up looking like somebody who got caught in a wind storm and then forgot to comb their hair afterward.

2. If you happen to be the husband of someone who stupidly tries a new hairstyle on the day of a interview it is NEVER and I do repeat, NEVER, a good idea to look at your lovely wife of 15 years and say, "I thought you liked your hair curly...why is it not curly but not straight either...what did you DO?"

3. If you are coming home from a job interview that went badly, as mine most assuredly did, and your husband says, "Hey are you up for an adventure? Let's go down this road I found on the map, it's a shortcut!", get out of the car. Demand that he take the normal route. Call your mother if you have to. If you don't heed my advice you may end up on a road, a term I use loosely, that has signage that declares you should proceed at your own risk because the road isn't maintained, believe the sign, make your husband turn around immediately. Otherwise the results will be not pleasant. You will have a roaring headache and no sense of humor when you finally arrive home hours later. You will also demand that your husband go back up that stupid road and look for your %$!)!)!kidneys, because you are sure one must have bounced out on that God forsaken wagon trail when your head hit the roof of the car for the 100th time in the last hour. Your heart will be in your throat and your liver will be somewhere down by your big toe.

4. Do not become so sure in the fact that you have a good chance of getting a job that you really really want because when in fact you blow the interview badly (!) you will become quite despondent and grouchy. You will contemplate starting to drink at 1:00 PM on a weekday. And you will greatly regret hanging up on a rude caller the day before at your present job, because you are probably going to need your current job for a whole hell of a lot longer than you would ever want to admit.

5. Don't underestimate the power of preparing well for an interview. Or in my case think that your charming wit and sparkling personality is all that you need, and hell you don't need to prepare for that. Arrive at the interview 10 minutes early, find out you have to interview before three people, and then be asked the hardest questions in the world. Look dumbfounded and stumble all over yourself. Answer the questions honestly, so honestly that the interviewers look at each other with a worried expression on their face and then thank you for coming all this way. "We'll let you know one way or the other in a few weeks. We hope you'll enjoy your day, you freak". Okay, they didn't call me a freak but their eyes said it. And they checked to be sure the door closed and locked firmly behind my backside as I exited the depressing basement office. I wish I could have left my disappointment in there with them too. *sigh*

Okay, I am going to start drinking now. Then I am going to take a shower and hope my pain and humiliation drain down the bathtub or I drown. Cheers!