Call me a school supply junkie

I was reading this today and it got me thinking I may have a problem. You see, dear blogging peeps, I think I am addicted to school supply shopping. Oh you may scoff, and dismiss my problem. Let me supply supporting evidence of my said addiction ~pun intended. I literally get a little rush when I realize it's time for back-to-school-shopping. My heart races a bit when I see glue for 20 cents, a package of pencils for 25 cents, Crayons 5/$1.00!! It is love at first site. I count my pennies and see how many Crayons I can afford, how many packages of erasers our budget can bear. I get sick enjoyment out of leaving Target with three bags over flowing with school supplies. But, do I stop there? Oh no. I need to feed my addiction more, just like a true school supply shopping junkie that I am. I start pouring over the ads for the other box stores trying to find my fix in another location where I haven't been yet so I can score some more Bic pens and notebooks 10/$1.00.

This year my addiction is being fed by the fact I have two kids entering the public school system this fall. That means I need to buy twice as much! The joy/the sorrow, the stalking of that many more stores for the goods . I always try and buy a lot of the cheap stuff so that I can donate to the kids classroom for kids whose parents either don't have my affliction or the inclination to stock up on rulers when they are 10 cents apiece, Good God they are practically giving them away at that price! I am providing a public service. Thank Goodness these cheap school supplies are only available once a year for a short window of time, usually about a month, or I would drive us even further into the poor house.

This year my problem is being hindered by the lack of funds to feed my addiction. I have only been able to spend $10 so far on my habit and it is hurting me, causing me great pain. I am still pouring over the ads but I have no moola to back up my desire. I have wondered what I could pawn, sell, or trade for some school supplies. This is how broke we are.

Exhibit A. I actually had to put school clothes for my kids on layaway at, oh I can't say it, at K...mar.......tttttt. UGH, that hurt. And when I laid my money on the counter for my downpayment it was all in ones. The pain. The helpful *cough* employee and I had a little mental telepathy going on while he was ringing up my transaction.

K employee: As he eyeballs my selections stacked on the counter three feet high. Um, you are a loser, lady! Who buys their kids school clothes at Kmart? On layaway no less.

Me: SHUT UP stupid Kmart guy. I know it's pathetic, but I at least want my kids to have something new to wear to school....

KE: Yeah, whatever lady. It looks like you did a good job of picking out stuff that doesn't look toooo cheap.

Me: SHUT UP. UMMM, I mean thanks. Yeah. This Basic Editions t-shirt that was probably made by a 3-year-old in a sweat shop looks pretty good.

KE: You are paying for your downpayment with ones??!?!?! Don't you have a checking account? Are you a striper or something? Geez, LOSER.

Me: SHUT UP. And yeah, I am a stripper. At a fetish bar for guys who are chubby chasers. That's why I am buying my kids school clothes on layaway at KMart.

KE: {Out loud this time} Thanks for shopping at KMart today. Here's your receipt. Be sure you make another payment (in something besides ones) by the 28th.

Me: SHUT UP. STOP JUDGING ME STUPID KMART GUY. ERRRR, I mean thanks...and I slink away hanging my head in shame. It was only after I walked away that I wondered if could have put some of those cheaper than dirt school supplies on layaway too????!?!?!