My life has went to hell and a hand basket

I believe I should start this post by saying I do NOT believe in reincarnation. However, if I DID believe in the concept of our former lives following us into this one it sure would explain a lot about my life these last few weeks. And one thing I would know for sure is that I must have been a bad MOFO in my previous life, perhaps a Nazi war criminal or a killer of kittens and puppies?*sigh*

I am the oldest of four children. My sister closest to me in age, T., is well, wild, so wild that I don't know how we can from the same gene pool. Maybe my Mom slept with a local Hell's Angel? This girl has been causing problems for her whole life. I have often asked my Mom if T. was dropped as a child, or if maybe we lived under power lines when my Mom was pregnant with T., because I can not figure out what in the world went wrong there. We were literally raised side by side, shared a room our whole life, and there is no good reason that she turned out so badly except for the fact she is crazy and has a wander lust that a gyspy would envy. I could literally write a book about all of T.'s adventures when we were teenagers. I wrote a funny memoir type paper about it since I have been in college, I will maybe put a part of it in my blog someday. ANYWAY, T. has been somewhat sane since she turned 18 and knew she would go to big girl's jail instead of juvvy if she misbehaved. That and the fact that she has been on extreme amounts of psychotic medications, that seems to have helped as well. This is not to say she is a good Mother or has a good and productive life, she has 3 children. My niece, K. who is 14, my nephew J. who is 9, and his brother M. who is 8. Her instincts as a Mother are bad, her taste in men is worse.

My Mom ended up raising K. for most of her life. T. just couldn't be bothered to take care of K. My Mom was never able to get legal custody of K. for one reason or another, but took really, really good care of K. We knew that not having her Mom was really hard on K. and she went to therapy since she was 5 to help K. deal with those issues. T.'s boys have always lived with T., because she is, was, still with their Dad. He is almost as bad a Dad as she is a Mom. Bad, bad combo. And you don't even want to KNOW about K.'s father, he's a convicted rapist and currently in prison. Lovely, isn't it?

A little over a year ago my Mom & Dad had to move in with my Grandparents to take care of them, my parents literally only moved 2 miles up the road, so they are still here & a active part of K.'s life. At that point I inherited K. I was happy that she came to live with us. I have always been a part of K.'s life and my boys LOVE her and think she's so cool. I was excited to have her be a part of my family. After she moved in with us she was diagnosed as being bipolar. We started her on medication right away along with talk therapy. Everything was going pretty well, with the expection of her taking my kids to her boyfriend's house, that I didn't know existed, and doing some pretty inappropriate activities in front of my innocent boys. *sigh* That should have been my red flag of what was to come...After school started she got really wild and out of control. She stole our car and crashed it through our neighbor's fence {we wanted to press charges and nobody would help us, that's the subject of another post}, she ran away, she half heartedly attempted suicide and ended up in the hospital twice {I say half heartedly because she lied about how much meds she took and once we were at the hospital she started ordering cheese burgers, and fries, and acting like she was at summer camp}, she lied like nobody's business, and generally reminded me so much of her Mother I had to restrain myself to keep from doing her great bodily harm.

Her last suicide attempt at my house was November 1st, 2005. She was sent to a mental hospital and while there told the staff she wasn't coming home to my house because I was a bitch and wanted to go live with her Mother. Since I don't have legal custody of her the staff at the hospital told me they couldn't FORCE her to come home with me. At that point I was so sick of her BS I didn't really mourn the fact that she wasn't coming home to me.

Since November she has been hospitalized 4 more times for attempted suicide, ended up in juvvy for attempted murder of her Mother, contracted some nasty STD's , and joined a gang. I think she'll be Valedictorian of her high school class, don't you?

Fast forward to last night. I find out T. Is in jail. For battery on her husband and intimidating a witness attempting to make a report about the battery. And T. and her hubby, who is not a nice man in the least, have split up and he kicked her out of the house. And K. Is in the hospital AGAIN and was due to get out, but had nobody to pick her up 'cuz her Mom was in jail. They are about 10 hours from here. My Mom made a bunch of calls today and it looks like K. Is either going to be sent back to juvvy, which would be good she is on probation for 2 years, or they are going to send K. Back up here. Which means I will probably inherit her again by default. *sigh*

Add this to the fact we are having severe money problems, my husband's health is failing, I am PMSing, our car has decided it has served our household long enough and is threatening to give it up any day now, my kids are growing like weeds and out of their clothes faster than I can find the funds to reclothe them, and my Mom is having serious health problems, and you can see why I am starting to wonder if I was a Nazi kitten killer in my former life.

On a happy note I found my calendar that I talked about here. Yippee! It was in my walk-in closet, which is a term I use loosely since I can't step in let alone walk in this closet it's such a frightful mess. What possessed me to put that damn calendar in there I will never know. I'm just happy I found it before the end of the year.

Excuse me, I think I may have forgotten take my Zoloft today. . .