Dreaded Cruise, Part Deux

Day 2-- of Dreaded Cruise, long ass story...See March 9th posting for part ONE of this riveting tale

Okay, welcome to a relaxing day at sea. No more lines, no more waiting--just FUN FUN FUN! We are awakened at 6AM by anxious children ready to swim and have some much awaited cruising fun. We make our customary morning visits to the latrine only to discover our lethargic flushing commade is now a non flushing commade. We call maintance, we call housekeeping, all to no avail. Then as if by sheer will alone, the commode flushed on its own with no help from a trained professional. Oh thank you, cruise goddess, thank you!

By now the children are so anxious for their day to begin they are hitting each other and threatening a sibling organized pint sized mutiny if we don't get moving. The husband, Daddy extrodionar, takes our offspring poolside while I wonder who's asine reasoning led to us bringing our ungrateful, loud, and spoiled children on vacation anyway?!

No word from Grandma. I hear she is in a scrapbook class drinking petite glasses of champagne enjoying her child free vacation. When the boys ask for her cabin number at dinner last night she told them 1347, when we returned to our cabin, I realized we had been duped! There is no thirteenth floor on this ship; she fake numbered us! Can you imagine?! I don't give my Mom enough credit, she is one smart lady...If I could figure out how to fake number those kids I would do it too. :)

I hear the loud sounds from my happy family long before I see them. My youngest is yelling at his brother that he should be thrown overboard to the sharks for cheating at shuffle board. There is is crying and general unrest in stateroom 2073.

With that my sea weary groom and I decide it may be a good time to visit the Sea Adventure Camp for the youngest of vacationers. With some cajoling and threats of grounding until 18th b-days, our children decide it would be in their best interests to check out the day camp. Still no word from Grandma. She is making good on her promise to have fun on her vacation and to worry about no one!

After a semi successful afternoon in daycare and a rousing but non profitable game of Bingo for us, we retire to our room to ready for dinner. Mass chaos breaks out when my sons suddenly remember Grandma's empty promises of swimming together. Angrily, the oldest calls her room demanding explanations and proof of her excuse. We had tracked down their correct cabin number through a series of bribes and promises of favors to the appropriate authorities, (e.g. my sister). "But honey-darling, she placates, I tried to call your room and you weren't there! Maybe tomorrow, darling?" After more threats we carrel our disobedient and unwilling sons to the first formal dinner of our seven day Mexican Riviera cruise. See pictudre posted earlier in this blog. Can you see my forced smile and my husband's look of peer terror? That picture was taken on this evening.

It is a beautiful and delicious dinner, of course. After dinner we decide to take the chidren on a stroll around the deck in hopes the sea air will lull them to sleep. Grandma & Pa are off for a night of romantic dancing and more bubbly. I surpress the urge to throw THEM overboard.

Day 3- Cabo San Lucas

We awaken rested, but late, at 9 AM. The boys are anxious to call Grandma for their swimming date. "Oh honey-Grandma and Pa are not up yet--we had a very late night--maybe tomorrow we will go swimming! I promise", she coos into the phone. After a temper tantrum and the boys disappointment over their Grandma's lack of follow through, my husband reprimands me for my unruly behavior. Is he the only adult on vacation?!?! Maybe, I say, after picking myself up from the floor of our cell and unleashing my fists from the fibers of carpet I had grabbed while in the midst of my fit.

"Okay-my loving and ever patient husband says in a soothing tone normally reserved for those on the brink of a nervous breakdown-why don't I take the boys to port and you stay here and "relax". {read drink heavily so I don't have to hear your bitching anymore} I had the boys dressed, passports and sunscreen in hand so fast my husband hadn't even found his flip flops yet. My sister and BIL were accompanying my long suffering husband on to solid ground. I am going to try and regain my composure and remind myself that I am supposed to be on vacation here.

After settling into my deck chair poolside with a cocktail in hand I truly felt as if I was on vacation...AUGGH!

Day 4

I am happy to report my extended family has made it out alive from the Cruise Witness Proctection program. They have resurfaced! My sister and BIL went with hubby ashore yesterday and chaperoned he & the children while I regained my composure and sanity. My husband was happy to report that they were a HUGE help with our offspring and I am so grateful to them.

After that my Mom stopped romantic dancing long enough to decide to keep my youngest grouchy traveler on board with her today while we went to Mazatallian. It was an enoumous treat to see the countryside without having to hear any whining--except for my own. My family has all redeemed themselves and I am enjoying my time on this cruise, finally.

Day 5

Chad gets to go on a much deserved day trip deep sea fishing with with my Dad, my BIL, Chad's Dad, and a few friends. I am so excited for him. He so deserves to have a great day! I went ashore at Puerto Vertea and went to a tequila factory and seen the country. My Mom kept the boys and fully redeemed herself utterly for ignoring us earlier on this vacation.

Day 6 & 7

More of the same. Generally lots of frolicking, shuffle board, and more eating than I want to admit to. I discovered I LOVE Lemon Drop martinis and that seems to have dulled some of the anxiety and general bitichiness on my part. Everyone is grateful for that, most of all my poor long suffering husband. I also forgot to mention that Chad got really really sick on his deep sea fishing trip. I think he had food poisioning. Just in case you were wondering, being stuck in a room about the size of a walk in closet with a man who is violently ill is a lot of things; fun isn't one of them! :) I really felt so bad for him. He finally got a day away and then got sick. Poor baby.

180 days prior to sailing!

Guess what? I had such a GREAT time on the cruise, we are going again. NO, I am serious. However, this time with no hubby and no kids. Just friends and some family. Chad has wisely decided to plan a vacation solo, he is going hunting with his brother in the wilds of Montana or Idaho or something. I can't say as I blame him. I don't think I would want to go on vacation with us either. :)

And so, that is the story of our dreadful cruise vacation. Only in must not have been so very dreadful or I wouldn't be going back in 9 months!

If you have read my very long narrative all the way through you deserve a prize of some sort. I don't know what, maybe a free memembership to the Blogger's 12 step program. (hahahhaha)