Okay, this isn't gonna be funny

Alright, for the faint of heart, please stop reading now. I am going to RANT and RAVE now. Because I am needing to vent. This isn't going to be funny, it's not gonna be cute, and it probably won't even be poignant.

I got a call from Far Northern Regional Services. And they have diagnosed Trent as having Aspberger's. Which is like the kiss of death as far as getting services goes. If you are wanting some background on this whole situation read my post about being so frustrated. ANYWAY. OHHHH, it pisses me off, that's right I swore, I said PISSES me off, because when we drove Trent to Redding to be tested, which is no small feat I may add, the school psychologist point blank told me she wouldn't give him an Aspberger's diagnose. She told me that she would diagnose him as being on the autism scale, although she did admit they put him so low on the scale he wouldn't get any services. EUGH. So, either she lied to me then or she waited so long to fill out the damn report that she forgot who he was. Or something.

So, just now my Far Northern "worker" called me and was all, "well, he's not eliglble for services, blah, blah, blah, because he's Aspberger's". I was like, "um, excuse me, when we were in Redding that Doctor told me she wouldn't diagnose him as Aspberger's". But, of course that did no good. I am not sure why I got so mad, I knew he wasn't getting any services, I was just mad that the doctor in Redding lied to me. I HATE being lied to. HATE IT. And then Sue, poor hourly wage earner for Far Northern that she is, tells me, "you know, you should call the SEA center, they have an Aspberger's support group in Redding {2 hours away} that would probably really help you". And then, I just lost it. I was a total bitch. Yes, for those of you keeping score, that's two swear words in this post already. I said, more or less, "you know what, I appreciate all your help, I really do. But, I am doing nothing. I am not going to call any more counselors like they told me to do at Trent's IEP,that really wasn't an IEP because he is getting no services from the special ed department, because I told the school what kind of insurance we had and when I called for an appointment with the counselors that the school recommended, said counselors don't take his insurance. The stupid, condescending, school psychologist told me he needs a OT but since he doesn't qualify for services at school I will need to find him one on my own. Well, I can't find one that takes our insurance. And the school told me that he's probably gonna have lots of problems when he gets into 4th grade. SO, you know what? I'm doing nothing. I am going to be Trent's Mom, I am going to let Trent be Trent. And when he gets into the 4th grade and he is having these amazing problems that everybody is predicting and he isn't learning, and he doesn't have friends, and he's totally miserable and STILL hasn't learned to tie his shoes, then maybe, just maybe I will be able to get help from one of these DAMN {that's 3} agencies that is suppose to help PEOPLE. And, I am so frustrated I can't see straight, I am sick sick sick to death of fighting this system, so I'm done. I'm not going to call ONE more person to ask for help. I am going to let Trent flap, rub his ear, suck his thumb, do whatever, and I'm gonna be his Mom and that's it. I am DONE!" I think that poor worker was a little taken aback. I feel bad because I was such a bitch and it isn't her fault, but oh my word, I am soooooooooooo very fed up. Fed up I tell you. If Far Northern would have evaluated Trent way back in preschool, like I asked them too, maybe then he would have scored higher on their stupid, stupid little test.

The worst part is going to be telling my sister. She works with kids with autism and thinks I am screwing everything up already with Trent. When she finds out I am doing NOTHING special for Trent and his issues she is going to blow a gasket. She can be so judgmental and rude. And I really don't want to hear it. I really really don't. She has no kids of her own yet, so OF COURSE she is a parenting expert, because aren't all people without kids? Especially people who work with kids. She seems to think she has a Doctorate in Autism. Which she does not, thankyouverymuch, she doesn't even have an AA degree. *SIGH*

Grumble, Grumble, Grumble. GAWD. Now, I really want a cookie or something. Because I want to eat when I am feeling any kind of feeling that is unpleasant. BUT, I am going to refrain from doing that because I am really,really working on ONLY eating when I am hungry, and I'm not hungry, dammit. SON of a motherless goat. Crumb cakes! Mother of Pearl!!

Alright, please discuss, if you dare. I want someone to commiserate with.